Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Father, Father


Author: huntingjonathon
ASL Info:    31/M/San Fran
Elite Ratio:    3 - 69 /117 /61
Words: 104
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 939
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 695



Description:




Father, Father



Father, Father
shall I love thee like
I love myself; if so,
is it because I am supposed
to appreciate the perils of
dependency?

Or shall I say
“father”
in the midst of a
Midwestern storm
just to hear my words
echo,

as the wind takes
my love
and spreads the trials
and tribulations
over hundreds of miles,
exerting the same force that
crushed my home in
seconds

and destroyed
all of my physical
memories

with the brush
of father’s hand?


-jonathon shank




Submitted on 2007-02-27 02:09:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  The irony of what was said,
not gratitude, but scorn instead,
thus fails the test brought forth through strife.
You lost a home and not your life.

The Gadfly
| Posted on 2007-02-27 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



136173