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    dots Submission Name: Dancing shoesdots

    Author: Clarkie
    ASL Info:    18/F/FL
    Elite Ratio:    5.33 - 101/76/36
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 687
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 308

       Maybe a slightly different way to approach a writer's block poem. I'm hoping. Honestly, it's not even from my point of view. This person is older. And jaded... And lives somewhere in my brain.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDancing shoesdots

    If I were a truer poet,
    the words might dance for me
    but the ballet slippers
    lie silent and unused
    empty in the corner
    the ribbons
    now gray-pink with age
    and sweat, from a time
    when I still moved
    my pen with the grace
    of a dancer

    Submitted on 2007-02-27 22:56:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      hey! great poem. very short and sweet. only one suggestion, i think the last three lines are broken up a little wrong. it made me stumble a bit when i read it.
    "when I still moved
    my pen with the grace
    of a dancer"
    i would change it to:
    "when i still moved my pen
    with the grace of a dancer"
    it just seems to flow a little better. great write, thanks for the read!
    | Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by Shadia Dark | [ Reply to This ]

    You moved gracefully over this screen like Fred astair, this was a great write saying that because you introduced the subject, and then elaborated on it, the mood seem to be down, cause you think you've got a writers block, this is definitely not writers block, great imagery, the pen and the ability to dance.

    Will read more, of your poems, keep writing.

    Great write
    | Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by bornx2000 | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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