Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Pale Without


Author: siradrian
Elite Ratio:    4.87 - 213 /123 /68
Words: 14
Class/Type: Poetry /Comedy
Total Views: 840
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 92



Description:


Isn't it awful when ones favourite sauce is missing at a crucial eating moment


Pale Without



lamb roast lay waiting
for lunchtime delectation
but it needed mint.




Submitted on 2007-02-28 03:00:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Umm, yeah, not quite what I was thinking it would be, lol. Can't really say nice write either, because, well it's to short, and it's basically just spontaneous thoughts. Oh well, I can say it's unique.

Disillusion's point of view isn't all that well thought out, I don't think it's utterly not amusing. Actually in an odd way, it sort of did amuse me. Odd...Anyway, uh...yeah...unique write, lol.
| Posted on 2007-03-02 00:00:00 | by Draigon | [ Reply to This ]
  i hate this the words should shrivel in upon themselves and a make a little black puddle of nothing and it would be much more interesting
| Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by disillusion | [ Reply to This ]
  yes it is awful. lol. very amusing :)

kat
| Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by moonlitsky | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



136294