Description: This is another write created from the mind of my Mother Karen Ramonas
I hope you enjoy it
Please let her know what you think of it
God Bless
Ron Ramonas
Have you ever wondered why life seems to pass you by
That every waking moment seems to be an effort
That your children have all grown and gone on their own and that to you it seems they have put you last
Your partner has left you and found happiness without you
Do not despair as maybe you cant see it now but your happiness will come too
Until then remember you truly do have good memories that will be with you for life
Remember the little things your children did that would make you smile and laugh
And remember how happy you were when thier hopes were fullfilled through infancy toddler and teenage years
They truly do love you and just as you have these memories they have theirs
Your partner has left but remember there had to be love there to have conceived these precious children
Take a moment and realize life has not passed you by
For memories cannot be erased
Remember the good not the bad
Then you surely will realize life will never pass you by
You make it what it is so make it a happy and fullfilling life
I just want to say thank you for reminding me that I have lived my life and that it is not just wasted time. This is good write, not necessarily brilliant, but the concept behind it pushes it to a new level.
I think I like the ideas and feeling behind this. I want children, but I have none. So I cannot understand fully the true feeling of this. Also most of my memories are not fond happy ones, so again I think the deeper meanings and emotions are lost on me.
I can however tell you I do like to see a simple and straightforward piece. Most people try to be flowery or complicated. And while I like that kind of work just fine, I tend to gravitate to things of a simple and emotionally raw nature. For some truly honest feedback I would say you might want to play with more clever (not the same as complicated) deliveries and see what you get.
Hey,
First of all, nice write. Not so poetic but well written. And its true, remember the good and realize that life hasnt just passed by, you've made what you could of it and thats precious. I don't have children or anything but I know the feeling of life just passing by and you not being able to play your role and stop it. Its hard but you really do have to look at the good in it.
Nice write. And thanks for your comment on one of my pieces.
~flora~
what a calmly optimistic and contemplative piece,,,, emanating wisdom
the words flow easily, effortlessly; the beauty of this poem is because it's so simple - it doesn't drag the reader into a world of complex intercorresponding and intersected images; there is no opressive power of screaming emotions;
there's just that - calm acceptance of facts and life in general; the circle of life.
It is such a blessing to have memories. And it's so interesting that I
I am writing on subjects like this today and I happened to come here to read. I needed the inspiration, thank you for that.
Actually, tell your mom thank you. She's a smart lady to live in love, no matter what.
This is almost proverbial. Sometimes when you are faced with your present situation it is hard to remember what is past that used to be so good and think good of it, but for some that's all they have. I guess you just have to make an effort to remember the past as being good and also know that that person that left you alone also has those same memories. I never thought of it that way. Thanks Ron. In my commenting I got even more out of this. Great job.
I really enjoyed this write. I agree with you 100%. The way I see memories (good or bad) you have to take them with respect (and also a grain of salt). They form who you are. Bad memories can have a very positive impact if taken correctly. You learn what not to do.
As far as the piece goes, I have nothing to add to it. It's very nice the way it is. You portrayed your emotion beautifully. I feel the structure is not important because the message was strong enough to carry this piece all the way through.
Thank you for reading "The gift." I'm glad your mom could relate.
Well, mom, your kids may have upped and gone,but I know every day they in one way or other think of you. Even the ex thinks of you because you can't forget someone that marriage made the two as one flesh. really, I don't think the ex has found happiness because a part of you still clings. Keep up the positiveness most of us are on the road to The Promised Land.
Wow. I had to scroll down for a really long time to get to this comment box. Haha. So judging from the amount of comments, this one probably won't say anything you haven't already read, but I'm going to continue anyway.
I must admit that this made me a little teary.
The beginning appears to be sad, and it works perfectly. Every line is filled with so much hope and honesty. I normally hate those things... but this makes positivity beautiful.
Your mother has a lot of talent and an amazing way with words.
"Take a moment and realize life has not passed you by
For memories cannot be erased"
Well, with so many comments I'm afraid I can't say something new about this piece but I will tell you that I cannot stop myself to leave a comment when I see some really good lines. Keep writing!
What a beautiful poem!
I really liked it-
thanks for giving meh something to think of for the day.
I like this as much as you say you liked my 'Snow' poem, but, I probably like this more!
I really enjoyed this write. It gives that warm and fuzzy feeling inside.
"For memories cannot be erased
Remember the good not the bad
Then you surely will realize life will never pass you by
You make it what it is so make it a happy and fullfilling life"
Yes, truly memories can not be erased. Some of them we want to forget....but we just simply can not. What a positive message as well..to remember all the good that has happened and not the bad.
How true, but in the moment it is hard to keep your head about you.
In all of your work you strive to have a positive attitude about situations that alot of people have resigned themselves to just say this stinks." it's nice to have a ray of light on this otherwise grim website (for the most part, I would hate to generalize)
Thanks again,
Spin
Thanks for the comment.I never knew people thought I was actually that good. my songs usually about 15 minutes to write! I like this, it tells me something about myself. And also about how your mother thinks. It's very deep and I understand it. I sounds like things have happened to her and she's trying to get over it. (If I'm wrong, tell me. That's just the message I get.)
Good stuff. One of the best things in life is knowing that even when people seem to forget about you, you are still in their life on some level. If you had good moments together in the past...you live on in them. And they live on in you. Realizing these facts, I'm sure your Mom is a happy person
My first thought is that it is very touching but doesn't really seem like a peom. All in all it is very good. i actually remembered my sister growing up from being a infant to a toddler when i read this.. that is a very rare moment when i remember something good from my past.
Thanks for that!
PEACE
To be specific This lady was sharing
It sounds and resounds like evocative notes coming from a convent, yes the nuns place.
That work was artistically written to suit our consumption.
It seems to say live as if you'll never die and at the same time live as if you are dieing the next minute.
Your mum is a great writer who has her personal way of sharing these poignant memories.
Nice write
To be specific This lady was sharing
It sounds and resounds like evocative notes coming from a convent, yes the nuns place.
That work was artistically written to suit our consumption.
It seems to say live as if you'll never die and at the same time live as if you are dieing the next minute.
Your mum is a great writer who has her personal way of sharing these poignant memories.
How refreshing to read these words of wisdom, understanding, and acceptance! Please tell your mom that she's exactly the kind of woman of which this world needs more. Her outlook is positive and full of love. Hugs to her, Sharon
these are great thoughts! really, really uplifting, and i can feel the compassion through your writing. you really are an absolutely caring man, and i appreciate that. my mother feels the exact same way as the first stanza you've written here:
"Have you ever wondered why life seems to pass you by
That every waking moment seems to be an effort
That your children have all grown and gone on their own and that to you it seems they have put you last
Your partner has left you and found happiness without you"
but almost always she tells me that i make the most of every situation i'm in, and she has always done that. it really made me reflect on how much i love my mom for being the strong, beautiful, and thoughtful woman she is. thanks for a great write. <3
Ron, please tell your Mom that these words were very profound and very well received by this man who has been feeling a bit lost and suffering from perceived losses and supposed wrongs. I will harken back to this piece when I need reaaffirmation.
Wow!!! This is a beautiful write.... very, very meaningful... life is not simply passing by... individual must take the charge...
And the last two stanzas .... they are brimful of inspiration... i've seen some people too, making their life hell over nothing... they won't let go the injuries of the past... and precious families disintegrate...but the right formula is:
"Remember the good not the bad"
Thanks for this brilliant piece, your mom is a great writer... she knows how to combine lucidity with a very significant message.
THis was very sweet. I enjoyed it so much. I felt it, which is something that I really like in a poem.
Great job,
S.k.
P.S. Sorry I haven't been on recently, my friend, the one that shares the page with me has been posting. I have started posting my stuff on Writers Cafe, which I find to be much more interactive, with groups and such.
I hope to be posting back here soon.
Very wise words and from the vantage point of an all too frequent situation. It's evident by it's even being posted here that line 4 is meant for the benefit of others.
I do not forsee myself loosing my partner of 30 years to anything other than "to death do us part" and while there is comfort in that, there is also the surety that it will happen in that manner someday.
Our physical presences are to slated to part eventually whether it's with a spouse or parent or child but Ron, in grasping this part of your mother into this part of your life you have made a stitch that does not unravel. We hold on to what we can and in hindsight I wish I had more still of my own mother.
you (and your mom) definitely have a positive attitude toward life and what's really important. I am glad you shared these thoughts with everyone because that is the attitude we should all try to adopt. these are wonderful thoughts and I know your mother is smiling down on you.
Your mother is a great writer like you. I can see where you get it from. She is right when she says memories can't be erased. I definitely love the last stanza the most. It seems pretty powerful with its words. Its a good thing that I read this because I think I've needed something a little motivating and nice to read. So tell your mother thank you for me. I'm out of things to say about this write so I apologize for that but I hope you are well and that your mother is well too. .
I apologize for my near one year absense. Its been a long time, but I think I found the spark I've been looking for. It took a breakup, a trip halfway around the world, and a boring lecture to finally start writing again. It's great to read your poems once again.
I read the poem, and I felt wisdom which is learned from old experiences. I wasn't pulled in dramatically, but I could image this as a card I would give to someone in gift, especially if I was lost for words to say to that person. The words of this poem gave me comfort and solace. When life seems its most dreary, it is through our mind we find our light of hope. I enjoyed reading your mother's work and I would love to read more.
Have you ever wondered why life seems to pass you by
That every waking moment seems to be an effort
That your children have all grown and gone on their own and that to you it seems they have put you last
Your partner has left you and found happiness without you
this sounds like an infomercial. it rambles on w/o going anywhere.
Do not despair as maybe you cant see it now but your happiness will come too
Until then remember you truly do have good memories that will be with you for life
Remember the little things your children did that would make you smile and laugh
And remember how happy you were when thier hopes were fullfilled through infancy toddler and teenage years
i dont use much punctuation myself but you need something here. also im sure it isnt on purpose but you misspelled their and fulfilled.
They truly do love you and just as you have these memories they have theirs
Your partner has left but remember there had to be love there to have conceived these precious children
this whole part is very confusing. your sentences run on incessantly and you use the word 'there' too much.
Take a moment and realize life has not passed you by
For memories cannot be erased
Remember the good not the bad
Then you surely will realize life will never pass you by
You make it what it is so make it a happy and fullfilling life
This just repeats itself over and over. 'realize life' is used twice w/o ryhme or reason. the word 'life' is used 3 times. maybe you can try using a synonym or something like that.
- not trying to be mean but reading this was very confusing and i tried to give an honest critique. feel free to read my stuff and say whatever bad you want about it. i dont mind.
Hello Ron,
I like the expression of this write; however i believe it is a sad thing to see one live within incasing of memories.
Memories are a good thing. Sometimes we need to find a way of accepting the full emotional and mental effect they trap us in. Sometimes we need to feed off of it to find satisfaction which truly i have never found and personally abandon such methods.
I like how the piece depicts the importance of details and redirects the focuses onto the positive.
take care
snuff
These thoughts and these words came from a remarkable woman and a remarkable person! Such goodness and such kindness exudes from them! Thanks for sharing this, Ron!
I agree very much with this, speaking for those in my generation, appreciation is lacking. I'm tired of all the whining about life's hardships, it is hard and it is a notable fact, but lovely memories...cherish that.
Wow this was really good...yet im so young so i have a whole life ahead of me but i lived though enghough to be 50 years old.....but the only thing that would be
fixing some of the sentece sturtures....
Like in this line
"That your children have all grown and gone on their own and that to you it seems they have put you last"
It could look this
"That your children have all grown
and gone on their own
and that to you it seems they have put you last"
There are some other areas like this but it's a way to make the piece clean cut....but other than that this was a great piece...
well hope to hear from ya n keep up the good work..
Please tell your Mother that this brought tears to my eyes and that she is a maginificent writer. I loved this soo much, there wasn't a thing wring with it. This is a philospphy I live by. Memories are what make up my life. I never look to the future, because they future holds no signicence to me yet, but my past and my memories do and by Mother Nature I swear to never forget those wonderful memories. This was an amazing write. Please tell her that. Thank You
Very nice, ha I like it. Its definatly written with a poetic edge. You should keep working on it and develop yourself if your interested in Poetry, I think you have the talent. You sound like a very strong individual (like your son) and I hope you continue to write.
Submission Name: Memories
.