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    dots Submission Name: Ideas Idle Iddots

    Author: Non-Sens-Uality
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 67/80/53
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 798
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 672

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    dotsIdeas Idle Iddots

    Think of a dream, a futile scream
    In darkness that unlocks the fear.
    A night of lies, a truth so dim,
    A rose of light - for you my dear.

    Think of a pact, an architect
    That builds the world's illusion
    If I act, you'll have to react
    Through ocean's dark confusion.

    Think of a time, spiral sublime
    Adventure's conceiled chasing.
    Remember that your thoughts are mine
    Remember we are racing...

    Forget your thought, remember not
    The labyrinth - my music notes.
    I am the darkness that you sought
    I am the light your heart denotes.

    Submitted on 2007-02-28 17:06:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      EXCELLANT! I throughly enjoyed the metre of this piece. The words flowed perfectly with the rhythem. You did very good here except for the third line of the third stanza. It din't quite follow the other two stanzas. And the last stanza also went off a little. The first two flowed so perfectly it really made the other two's misstep very noticeable. Tune this up a little and you have a masterpiece.

    your friend
    | Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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