Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Not Even Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 111
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 470
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 705



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNot Even Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    While sin slowly sooths me,
    Puts me soft to sleep,
    I wish for when,
    I will awake keep,
    The person I am inside,
    Wills for what's right,
    But I find in my mind,
    I always loose the fight,
    Loose my strength,
    Of what used to be strong,
    Because in life things
    Feel so long,
    Or wrong when,
    I stumble on my way,
    To the distance in the dark,
    I would dare stay,
    I wish I could,
    Express how it feels,
    But if I told you,
    You wouldn't take me for real,
    I'm afraid for my life,
    And I know the truth,
    But no one accepts it,
    Not Even You




    Submitted on 2007-03-01 09:52:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i like it, except for one thing. a few parts dont really flow. e.x: i will awake keep. Did you mean to say keep awake? or was it supposed to be the other way?? regaurdless its really good :D
    | Posted on 2007-03-01 00:00:00 | by bassnguitar13 | [ Reply to This ]
      it must be hard not being understood. it gets worse when acceptance is so hard to find. i feel for you. but theres always a silver lining behind every cloud :) all the best to you!
    keep up the good work

    tina
    | Posted on 2007-03-01 00:00:00 | by tina_mik | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    136421

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry