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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: US and THEMdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Thief
    ASL Info:    22/male/plainview
    Elite Ratio:    4.8 - 180/80/69
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 530
    Average Vote:    3.6667
    Bytes: 867



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUS and THEMdots
    -------------------------------------------


    she says she loves him
    he thinks he found his reason to live
    now she's gone with another man
    and he puts the gun to his head one final-time

    some people in this world are so greedy
    and the rest of us fall into "stupidity"
    they go get what they want
    and we do anything for them
    they take but never give
    and we stand alone, mad at ourselves!

    its their greed that brings this pain
    but our loneliness teaches us
    their greed will grow
    our stupidity will lessen
    they will have nothing
    we will have wisdom

    we'll find that someone
    our wisdom helps decide if their the one
    don't give up
    you'll find em
    and to garantee this
    we know the difference between US and THEM




    Submitted on 2007-03-01 16:25:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Betrayal, its so painful to go through... I've known my own betrayals and pains, but they are what made me strong today. Strong enough to forgive and live. We, as humans, are capable of so much destruction... But there is also a potential for good in all of us. I feel positive about the future. Life will find a way.

    - Sharon -
    | Posted on 2011-01-21 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
      hey aaron,
    well...this one sure does hold potential of a good poem...need a lot of work and tweaking though...i really like the flow of emotion through out...but sure needs better choice of words...more powerful ones...if you know what i mean?

    i have this thing for typos...they get highlighted italicized and bold in front of my eyes when i read 'em...lots of typos through out the poem...

    for example...
    its ~thier~ greed that ~bringss~ this pain
    but our ~lonliiness~ teaches us
    our wisdom helps decide if ~thier~ the one
    and to ~garantee~ this

    i hope you dont take this hard...you have immense potential...just needs fine tuning...

    let the quill spill the blue blood of emotions...

    as i am
    adi
    | Posted on 2007-04-05 00:00:00 | by psychoneurosis | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW! YES THIS IS VERY GOOD, IT IS TRUE AND IT IS ABSTRACT. I LOVE IT!
    | Posted on 2007-03-01 00:00:00 | by Jessica Lynn | [ Reply to This ]


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