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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: *Holding Me Overdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Caotic_Disaster
    ASL Info:    16/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 447/349/148
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 881
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 673



    Description:
       im not sure about the title..if u have any ideas let me know..thanx


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots*Holding Me Overdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Got a postcard today
    From my lover overseas
    He sent it by airmail
    To cease my pleas

    Got a postcard today
    It said he missed me a lot
    Said he was thinking about me
    Can't wait to show me what he bought

    Got a postcard today
    Explaining his trip
    Everything he saw and did
    And he will soon be boarding his ship

    Got a knock on the door today
    There he was in person
    Tears swarmed my eyes
    Blurring my vision

    So glad he's back
    Happy to see him again
    Next time
    I'll go with him to Spain




    Submitted on 2007-03-02 08:07:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The poem was pretty good over all. The last two phrases don't flow right though. You had a good flow because you where rhyming the second & last sentences but the last two phrases you didn't. I'm not quite sure how you should change them to make them flow but when I do if you still need help I'll tell you. Also, I think that your title should be 'Postcard'. 'Holding me over' just doesn't fit to me. It doesn't seem like it has anything to do with the poem and since you say postcard so much then that would make sence to me to have that title. Well good luck and thank you for posting.
    | Posted on 2007-03-02 00:00:00 | by Emo Angel | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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