The cold damp walls
Holding you in
because you dont want to let go
listening to the song
melodies of thousands of voices
who think they know what you went through
reach out your hand
and grab the closest thing
to bring close and cling to
because you need something
that protects you
before the ice seeps through to you
and your heart in heart.
Me and you and the rest of the world.
Dont know where we are going to go
But I wish I was anywhere but here
Just thinking of you
And forgeting the shape of your face
Its been too long
Someday I hope I forget
But then again I want to hold on to the feeling of your arms around me forever.
No more love poems.
Lifes too sad to focus on one thing. And too complicated for more.
You call yourself blankscreen. Maybe you hope people will see themselves reflected in everything you say and do. Maybe you just like the name because you thought it suited you. I can't say I've ever experienced the things I've read about in here. Some would call me lucky. Unfortunately, I'm a very empathic person and blessed with a vivid imagination. Blessed, cursed. Either way, I can see myself reflected in this moving piece of work. And while life may be too compilcated to focus on more than just one thing, remember, you're not alone on that little island of yours.
I agree with the previous comment that this is heartwrenching.
You've captured loss and solitude with your words, and conveyed the pain clearly.
Your ending is wonderfully hopeful, and I especially like how you gave such importance to your own focus...since we are responsible for our own happiness, even when it seems that others supply or deny happiness to us.
This has a definite tone, heart wrenching, but still profound. I think you could probably work on it, but its a great start. It hits just about everything someone feels, and the choice, to forget in order to stop the pain, or to hold dear the memories of love.
You misspelled complicated, andI think you could vary this part, seems a bit redundant:
reach out your hand
and grab the closest thing
to bring close and hold on to
Otherwise, it brought me close to crying, and the core of the piece is what hit me, good work. I liked the layout, it defintley strengthens your ending.
Submission Name: untitled
