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The falling of hope


Author: LadyMerlina
ASL Info:    24/ F/ Montreal
Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 60 /93 /58
Words: 173
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 794
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1015



Description:




The falling of hope



I lost you.
You moved away and your number changed.
I smile and remember,
you weren’t much of a caller anyway.

I said I had moved on.
That I wasn’t going to wait for you.
But I realise, it’s all I really do.
I wait for you to live and grow up
And be the man I know you will be.

I guess I have to say goodbye now Tommy.

For me, it’s the end of a dream.
The falling of hope.
I wake without you but not alone.
With a secret I tell no one.

You’ll always be the love that torments me.
You’ll be my secret mourning.
Let me just say,
the shadows never looked so becoming.

I’ll hold your memory near me
as a love lost, cherish it at any cost.
Your name written on my skin
in a language only I can comprehend
Like my tragic secret within,
for a love that was never meant to happen.






Submitted on 2007-03-03 11:19:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Very simple. The vocabulary could use some zest. But overall, the concept is very well sweet. It is relatable and it is a personal attestation of what we all end up going through. I can completely connect with you when you mention this Tommy character not being much of a caller. And as much as you seem to sort of withdraw from that statement, it shows a depth of your character (somewhat passive, I might say in this situation, maybe because you have accumstomed yourself to not expecting any call from him?) and it shows a trait of Tommy- not very open to communication, or comfortable communicating over the phone, etc.

Picks:

"But I realise"

But I realize. I believe spelling it with an 's' is the British way, not the American way.

"in a language on I can comprehend"

In a language only I can comprehend.

Best line of the poem:

"...the shadows never looked so becoming."

Is the internal rhyming throughout the last stanza intentional?
| Posted on 2007-07-27 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]


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