Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: SMW (A Not So Different Revision)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: screamALEX
    ASL Info:    19/M/PA
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 40/93/49
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 795
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 760



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSMW (A Not So Different Revision)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    SMW (A Not So Different Revision)

    So, its been almost a year,
    since I wrote that first line.
    But Iíve gotta be honest honey,
    you still run through my mind.
    Cause every time I smell your perfume,
    I canít help but hope it be you,
    but we both know thatíd be too good to be true.
    Each time the phone rings is my new tragedy,
    Cause every time its not you is one more blow to me.
    Every word that I write seems to be about you,
    all these feelings melting onto paper,
    fabricating lackluster emotions with a dash of truth,
    that could make a holy man surrender.
    So, the next time you drive another boy blind,
    know that you still run through my mind.




    Submitted on 2007-03-03 17:16:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this is really good you explain how you feel about this lady in such detail how you wish her to be back with you
    there was only one line that made me really feel this poem but there needn't be more as it was very powerful

    fabricating lackluster emotions with a dash of truth,

    it made me think and thats such a great thing for a poem to do weather its 10 lines or 1 as long as you have something in there thats captures the readers emotion and i feel that this did that good write and i hope my comment may be of some help to you becoming an elite writer :)

    rak
    | Posted on 2007-03-03 00:00:00 | by dark figure | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    136659

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry