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The voice...

Author: darkwiccan14
Elite Ratio:    1.6 - 125 /125 /88
Words: 69
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 520
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 509



The voice...

Hush! said a voice,
A voice so dim,
I had nothing to do,
but smile,
Everywhere that,
I and you,
Running down the,
tunnels of what was once,
my soul.
Trying to find a way out,
And a way back in,
Once again.
Reaching for a hand,
I jump,
At the sound of the,
dim voice,
inside my head....

Submitted on 2007-03-03 19:36:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
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  I like the idea of the poem. I think it sounds awkward where it says "Everywhere that, I and you...". The I and you seems a but awkward. Personally I would put you and I, not necessarily because it is grammatically correct, but i think it would flow easier. Overall, I thought it was a strong poem.
| Posted on 2007-03-03 00:00:00 | by blacknails | [ Reply to This ]

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