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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Did my heart just beat for you?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lolavie
    ASL Info:    23/female/Michigan
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 70/175/103
    Words: 238
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 610
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1389



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDid my heart just beat for you?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I was over you, I swear
    Least thats the lie I told myself
    I tried to move on, I did
    Making eyes at someone else
    Now here you are right in front of me
    Making me feel like you once did
    Did my heart just beat for you..did my heart......for you?

    We went back to that place of flaming passions
    Telling you of fantasies
    I still have today, of you
    Fantasies of flaming passions
    Now here you are right in front of me
    Confusing me like you once did
    Did my heart just beat for you..did my heart......for you?

    Close my eyes, close my heart
    I say aloud
    As you undo my shirt
    I dont care for whats to come
    Even if I do get hurt

    I want to feel your hands on my
    sides and send chills to my spine
    Do I want you , want you to?
    Even though I'm over you?
    Am I even over you....

    I was over you, I swear
    Least thats the lie I told myself
    I tried to move on, I did
    Making eyes at someone else
    Now here you are right in front of me
    Making me feel like you once did
    Did my heart just beat for you..did my heart......for you?

    I let you make me cry out for more tonight
    Tomorrow Im crying in the rain that youre not mine...






    Submitted on 2007-03-04 22:05:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well I definitely love this...but it saddens me. I often wonder what it will be like when I see my ex again...because I ask every day if my heart only beats for him...and it scares me that I will want to feel his body next to mine again....and that I will let him take me over again...only to be hurt again when he leaves. I guess sometimes we can tell ourselves we're over somebody until we almost believe it...but when they're standing there in front of us..it's a whole different story. I loved the idea behind this poem...it was great. ~hailie~
    | Posted on 2007-03-06 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
      Jeremiah 17:9

    "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

    As soon as love begings to make sense, it seems (at least for my life) that if I give it just a moment more, everything will crash down.

    My relationships don't involve physical relations, so I can't say I fully relate, but I am human, and my body still desires those things. To share that part of yourself with someone who is not your husband or wife is only setting yourself up for even more hurt, because there is something that connects peoples' hearts, even if they fight and argue about everything else.

    Good writing, thanks for the read.

    | Posted on 2007-03-06 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      This is sad. :( And I'm sure it happens to many people.

    This is a very nice mixture of verse and what almost seems like dialogue!

    "Close my eyes, close my heart
    I say aloud
    As you undo my shirt
    I dont care for whats to come
    Even if I do get hurt"

    To me, this seemed a little bit more direct than I'd like (just my opinion). I think it'd come across a bit more powerfully if you came up with a medaphor or a parallel to the undoing of the shirt.

    Good work, otherwise!

    -Jay-
    | Posted on 2007-03-04 00:00:00 | by PretzelCorps | [ Reply to This ]


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