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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Rose In A Book Of Poemsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 658
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 841



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Rose In A Book Of Poemsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    My sadness as the rose is
    Crushed in a book of poems.
    There can be no denying,
    While drifting, dreaming, sighing,
    The coldness of pale snows is
    As bleak as sunken domes.
    My sadness as the rose is
    Crushed in a book of poems.

    While here a favored poem is
    For all the world to see
    As crushed against its pages,
    Now seemingly for ages,
    This flower’s final home is
    Lost in a memory,
    While here a favored poem is
    For all the world to see

    And I am like that rose is,
    Forgotten on grey tombs,
    Long withered like a leaf is,
    Grown grey as any grief is,
    While all my dreams are roses,
    Dead flowers, stale perfumes.
    And I am like that rose is,
    Forgotten on grey tombs.




    Submitted on 2007-03-05 09:08:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      That was beautiful....your sorrow brought tears to my heart- it's so tragic to think there's not a single second we are breathing that someone isn't in pain...that someone isn't being forgotten...that someone else has turned to nothing more than tears and memories. It means so much that there are still writers who can be so pure and open about what they're feeling; while simultaneously remaining very poetic. The repitition could very easily have been done wrong but it was perfect here; great effect. This, in form, reminded me a bit of that old tale about the epitaph speaking to the young person walking by it....ya know? "as you are now so once was I, as I am now soon shall you be..." Yeah, so I haven't read much lately but this was very good.

    "My sadness as the rose is
    Crushed in a book of poems.
    There can be no denying,
    While drifting, dreaming, sighing,"
    ~that was probably my favorite part. For some reason, as beautiful as that could be....a crushed rose in memory of someone....you went deeper than face value, to a depth that I myself had not thought to venture with this particular concept. Your flow was perfect as well.

    "The coldness of pale snows is
    As bleak as sunken domes.
    My sadness as the rose is
    Crushed in a book of poems."
    ~this was more or less (in my mind) just good for imagry...scensory. there's absolutely nothing wrong with that- when done right, as in this case I feel it was, it really does help wrap the reader into the story.

    "While here a favored poem is
    For all the world to see
    As crushed against its pages,
    Now seemingly for ages,
    This flower’s final home is
    Lost in a memory,
    While here a favored poem is
    For all the world to see"

    ~isn't that incredibly eerie? how something can mean so much....can BE so much and then end up being not much more than a memory.....or a borrowed fairytale of better times. This reminded me of someone who used to be happy- who just can't bring themselves to feel that way anymore and almost remembers what bliss feels like. maybe that someone is the rose....in my mind, it was a good anthropomorphism anyway. =]


    "And I am like that rose is,
    Forgotten on grey tombs,
    Long withered like a leaf is,
    Grown grey as any grief is,
    While all my dreams are roses,
    Dead flowers, stale perfumes.
    And I am like that rose is,
    Forgotten on grey tombs."
    ~I'll be honest, the ending was not exaclty what I expected- I'm not sure what i was expecting but this wasn't it. it was good nonetheless. I loved the bit about dead flowers and stale perfumes......really giving the image that beauty isn't eternal and what made something so beautiful once can contrastly make it just as repulsive.
    I loved this. I'll be sure to take a look at more of your writing but for the time being it'd really be beneficial if I got some sleep, thanks for posting this one
    keep writing,
    ~Jess

    | Posted on 2007-03-16 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      Exhilarating as much as it is sad. The repetition you used is a wonderful effect to the entire poetic atmosphere of this piece. I wonder why no one ever says "thank you" in the comments. I mean, is it that people don't appreciate the fact that you have opened your heart and your mind to them freely and gifted them with so much beauty? Thank you :)
    | Posted on 2007-03-06 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      heartbreakingly beautiful and so whistful that i want to cry....you have brought me to tears with this glorious new work of yours, and i cant help but love this piece....you are a fantastic writer, amazing beyond all dreams

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-03-05 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


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