[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Cracks in the Sidewalks(Technaphob)dots

    Author: BrokenAngel
    ASL Info:    21/F/MI
    Elite Ratio:    3.93 - 179/157/47
    Words: 315
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1173
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2459

       Tear it apart! I'm trying to get this as edited as possible so I can *attempt* to publish it. Any thoughts are welcome.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCracks in the Sidewalks(Technaphob)dots

    It's times like these that make me search,
    That make me wonder if these broken
    Hide the real people. Has everyone become
    So dependent on the media to tell them how to dress,     
    Act, think that they've lost all individuality?
    Can we, as a people, take the cost of living by the words     
    Of a television telling us what we should be?
    I, for one, cannot stand the knowing look,
    The passing glances from screen to screen
    As they say to each other, "One more for the team."     
    This desecration of liberty means nothing more to the robotic     
    Concoctions that rule the world with an iron fist and     
    Ligaments of wire. Humanity has only so long     
    Before we are unheeded, unneeded, and obsolete.     
    Soon everyone will look to the ground,
    counting cracks     
    In the sidewalk, wondering when they will be next.     
    I will not wander without looking to the sky--
    I will scream defiance with every breath
    And laugh in the solid faces of my
    Prosecutors. Technology has no hold over me.     
    It does not dictate who I am.
    I am stronger than the furious face that looks at me with greed,     
    I am greater than those who need a
    complacent world in order     
    To be happy.
    I live in those cracks in the sidewalks,
    I laugh at the faces that fly blankly above me.
    They are nothing more to me than fleeting flies     
    That will die within the week. They are the ruined,     
    They are the reason humanity will fall while
    Blindly following the sparking microchip minds.
    But we sit here in silence.
    Our compliance degrading every ounce of self.
    Who will fight the technological era that is arriving,     
    Keep it from taking over everything
    Its hard-drive can handle?
    Will it be left to those in years to come,
    Or will it begin

    Submitted on 2007-03-05 10:42:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Heh, I remember reading this when it was still in your notebook. Excellent socio-political commentary. I've enjoyed every reading of it. As I sit here in the Gwaltenator's lab working on things in no way related to the very obscure subject of Consumer's Education, I read more poetry and get ideas for new lyrics. But I'm not going to post too much until I throw some comments out. I'm this close to dead sheep, I can feel it.

    Next on my calendar: Post my sonnet.


    <3 <3 <3
    | Posted on 2007-03-30 00:00:00 | by Zabriel | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an excellent narritive poem ... first class and it articulates a real problem in the modern world ... everything is designed to seduce or coherce you into like-thinking, lock-step thinking of the approved masses, if you fall outside of this you are considered near insane if not insane .... but that is ok as they will get you and lock you up and pump you full of drugs until you agree .... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael (watch out, they will get you!)
    | Posted on 2007-03-12 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      pretty political stuff. politcs is a little dangerous though -- i mean that you can alienate people very quickly if u talk about politics. or you can make friends quickly if you talk about the "right" type of politics. you throw out ideas of revolution -- very dangerous stuff. no one knows what to do. you can see what's going on and u can be pissed at it. others can accept it, reason it out in there heads. but there isn't anyone who is going to come up with a solution that will work -- noone can come up with a solution that will work. i think we just have to do the best we can within the system and help the people we come into contact with. i'm already starting to accept things -- that's something that happens as you get older. i think by the time people get to thirty -- they don't wanna do anything to affect serious change. people learn to accept with age. if you wanna change and you have good solid ideas -- peaceful ideas -- then you need to find people who agree with you and organize. bla di bla di bla. or just wait a few years and you'll become comfortably numb:)
    | Posted on 2007-03-09 00:00:00 | by Solomon Disease | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]