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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Deardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Squall Leon Hea
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 104/79/29
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1077
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 451



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeardots
    -------------------------------------------


    Death knocks on my door
    " Open the door , or..."

    Do I open or do I not
    For the door is tightly shut

    What can death mean by " or... "
    Iam already dead at core

    Dieing is no matter at all
    For I have been rid of soul

    Nothing more , nothing less
    Nothing will straight this mess

    My love has gone ,
    Far away , my dear son




    Submitted on 2007-03-05 14:00:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think you could have made it much longer.
    It would have added more charm to the body of it, making it seem more impressive.

    Over all, I would rate this 3/5

    For 3 reasons.
    1. You made it slightly fogged with your words. Very confusing.
    2. Some of it could have rhymed better.
    3. I donít think that this felt original, could have been more separated from your other poems.

    Work on this a bit.
    | Posted on 2007-08-10 00:00:00 | by darkmoonchild | [ Reply to This ]
      Awww i love it keep it up.

    ~Druecilla~
    | Posted on 2007-04-17 00:00:00 | by Druecilla | [ Reply to This ]
      wow i've never seen one like that before. lie death when one is already dyingit's like offering water to a drowning man

    cheers
    | Posted on 2007-03-20 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      cool poem yo. iyt just has me thinking about the soul like iyt either dies or lives and lives unending. u get the torture...
    | Posted on 2007-03-06 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]


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    136847

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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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