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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sadistic Dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Priestess
    ASL Info:    17/female
    Elite Ratio:    2.01 - 40/108/43
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 157
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 748



    Description:
       I wanted to write something different and this is it, tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSadistic Dreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Cut your horrid eyes out,
    and burn your wretched flesh.
    It makes no difference to me,
    your just like all the rest.

    Slash apart your bones now,
    and tear out all your hair.
    I can hear your screams of pain,
    but I don't even care.

    Sew your screaming mouth shut,
    and mutilate your face.
    You told me I was ugly,
    but now who's the disgrace.

    Cover your limbs with acid,
    and rip out your insides.
    I throw your beating heart in rage,
    and then I let you die.

    I wake from my sadistic dream,
    and turn to you and smile.
    This fantasy won't be fulfilled...
    ...at least not for awhile.




    Submitted on 2007-03-05 21:47:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, this was intense. Creepy and yet so nicely structered, I enjoyed it and I think you ended it with quite a bang! Good write!
    -Aang
    | Posted on 2008-12-02 00:00:00 | by Aangskate | [ Reply to This ]
      I throw your beating heart in rage,
    and then I let you die.

    Those particular verses combined made me giggle. I think it's just how blunt it is.

    but now whose the disgrace.

    You used the wrong form of whose/who's here. Whose would be used in a sentence like, "Whose is this?" You'll want to choose the latter; the contraction of "who is." So yeah. Just change "whose" to "who's."
    | Posted on 2007-04-13 00:00:00 | by Stygian | [ Reply to This ]
      ha funny write made me laugh in the end yeah i guess sometimes we all have hate towards the one we love, tyson
    | Posted on 2007-03-11 00:00:00 | by ty | [ Reply to This ]
      sexual?? i suppose in an ominous way yes it could be
    but its so nightmarish and the title matches it so well and its such a catchy title really, it caught my attention
    and all the imagery really works
    i can feel the anger and hate coming from this
    rachelle
    | Posted on 2007-03-06 00:00:00 | by dark lover | [ Reply to This ]
      sexual....thats pretty wicked stuff, i mean hell if i woke up next to you and knew you were thinking that id get the hell out of there...is that the approach you are wanting?
    | Posted on 2007-03-05 00:00:00 | by Master Bates | [ Reply to This ]


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