OMG thats amazing, i love how in the end you feined not caring, i think thats what set this poem apart from anything i've ever written before so really really good job i loved the last stanza!!!! really good job
Yeah, that was a bit of a shocker. But I figured something was going to happen when she left and said that she wouldn't be far. The first few lines kept me interested in what you had to say, good job on that.
The sixth stanza was designed well. I love the last line on it "and shot himself good-bye", I liked the way you used shot himself good-bye there, unique. This poem was interesting from first to the last.
There could be some minor adjustments made to it though. You could've made the poem a little longer, and left the criminal veiled until later on in the story. That would've made more suspense. Or you could've cloaked the criminal by using metaphors and such, but not really unveil it was, and leave it up to the reader to decide.
Anyway, I think the poem is exceptional. Very good work on the rhyme scheme, and structure. I hope this really didn't happen to you, but writing about things does seem to help people with emotional problems. Or problems in life in general.
Oh my God, I really hope that this didn't happen to you. But either way, this was very well written and was very well rhymed. I think I liked the second stanza. That last line gives me a little chill. "I will not be far" It's like she knew what was was coming, and she was saying that even though she wouldn't be with you, she'd always be in your heart. I don't know, but that's just what I got out of it. But anwyays, this was a really good poem. It kept me intriuged from beginning to end.