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    dots Submission Name: Repressiondots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 49
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 883
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 329


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    There was a box under my memory
    where I banished my troublesome thoughts.
    Somehow being with you pried open the lock,
    and the recollections ran out like freed lab mice.
    Once liberated, repression became impossible,
    and I'll have to learn to cope
    or let the ideas cripple me.

    Submitted on 2004-06-09 03:45:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Another nice one, you probably have the most poems posted aside from the greatest poems in here, you're really on the ball. This is a fine example as to why you will probably always be better than me, this poem is a bit brief, but it says enough to let me know I have no chance in competing for the best of the best in here. Fantastic piece.
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by JR Hoodlum | [ Reply to This ]
      I like everything in the poem except the simile with the mice. It's just a personal thing because to me lab mice symbolize innocense. They are always white. And they get destroyed in the name of man. Perhaps if the simile was to some kind of insect I would get a more loathsome feel for your escaping recollections. I guess I know a lot of women, my wife would be one, who couldn't think of anything more loathsome than a mouse running loose though!
    | Posted on 2004-06-09 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this a box under your memories love how you used that...the last two lines even though they are sad are my favorite. i personally like the mice simile..very orignal..describes perfectly what your trying to say..your ideas are always fresh and i love that..smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-06-09 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      Uhhh, amy I don't like this one... It just seems a bit too... deflated almost, to resigned. the lab mice is just freaky.. and it feels like you might be grasping at anything you can to describe this particular kind of helplessness...
    | Posted on 2004-06-09 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]
      Buy some mind spray and exterminate those bugs once and for all. They eat through happiness if you don't. Well written as usual.
    | Posted on 2004-06-10 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      i like the image of a box under your memories... i guess everyone has one of them...where you shove the things that you dont want to even think of as memories let along share with anyone... this is a very sad poem. mice will eat anything... even happiness. lets pray that doesnt happen for you. best wishes. hope ya getting a bit of sleep lately...
    | Posted on 2004-06-11 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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