Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cyphonismdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 478
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 931



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCyphonismdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The fugue of screaming
    Ebony man all dressed in honey
    Tied by leather intersects
    Sweetness wafts through the air
    Inviting hungry insects.
    A spider-line love
    Master's sweet southern flame
    Her sensuous sex
    Her licorice body
    Allured him to feed.
    Splinters of hard candy
    Line the swelling of his cheeks
    Vacating forceps
    Ousting chocolate enameled teeth
    Ordained the sufferer.
    A bee hive
    Bestows its tumescent gift
    Lick addiction perfect
    Lyrical pheromone buss of
    A sugar hungry insect.
    Mind ascend body
    Gratis pain of all the stings
    Love's fatal steps
    Enter memory of her arms
    Sweet southern lips.
    Let the bugs work
    Hunger their pretext
    As he slowly drifts
    Brought back again
    By gentle biting
    Of sweetened insects.




    Submitted on 2007-03-07 14:40:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like the imagery of this piece. You have very good language skills.
    However it was unclear to me what the point of this poem was. Is it about a person, or just a sort of abstract thing.
    It doesn't make it wrong, I know there's plenty of poetry written in a very abstract way, but personally I find it hard to read.
    Keep it up
    Regards, Kalinda
    | Posted on 2007-03-08 00:00:00 | by Kalinda | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    137104

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Cover written by saartha
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Carry written by saartha
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Records I written by Raphael
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    prison written by ShyOne
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry