Dark Fairy by Lil gal

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Submission Name: Dark Fairy dots

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Author:	Lil gal
ASL Info:	28/F-ya/here
Elite Ratio:	3.19 - 354/210/34
Words:	64

Class/Type:	Poetry/Longing
Total Views:	201
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	405

Description:
I was inspired by a picture of a fairy on the moon, man i wish i could be that fairy.

Dark Fairy dots

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Dark Fairy, sitting upon the moon,
singing such a mournful tune.

Solemn in your reverie,
thinking of all the things that can not be....

Wallowing in your everlasting misery,
is it really such a tragedy?

Can you not see,
this is the way things must be,
so the world can be set free.

For you are the Dark Fairy.

Submitted on 2007-03-07 18:59:46 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  i was first drawn to this poem bcuz i have a fairy tattoo.. of the fairy on the moon lol i love this piece n reminds me of my tatt but also how you got ur message clear n a short piece.
| Posted on 2007-04-10 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
  I enjoyed this poem a lot. And reading what Ben Gunn said, is the light fairy the sun (or on the sun depending on how you're doing it). And while I'm thinking about it, is the dark fairy supposed to be the moon, man (or woman) in the moon, or just on the moon. I don't suppose it matters. I loved the poem though. I have a feeling I'd like the Dark Fairy over the Light one if I ever met them. Probably because I love to stare at the moon. If I stared at the sun I'd go blind. But this was an excellent poem, I wouldn't change a thing.

The Bird
| Posted on 2007-04-10 00:00:00 | by Swimming Bird | [ Reply to This ]
  My favorite lines were "this is the way things must be,
so the world can be set free." Sometimes we just have to accept that fact. I liked this poem! :-) Sharon

| Posted on 2007-04-04 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
  Could the light Faerie and the dark Faerie ever exist at the same time? could they ever meet? see what you've started?
| Posted on 2007-04-03 00:00:00 | by Ben Gunn | [ Reply to This ]
  If - ipso facto - the Dark Fairy ( I think you should have called it "Dark Faerie" btw...but anyway...) exists and is bound in her own world, full of intent but riven by impossibility - can the Light Fairy make her whole again?

I'm not being facetious, cos I normally hate stuff like this, but you could serialise it...

The whole idea has really caught my imagination.

Excellent.
| Posted on 2007-03-29 00:00:00 | by Ben Gunn | [ Reply to This ]
  An arcane, but very interesting piece of poetry, with a potent title by the way ... nifty poem and very deftly written ... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ...
| Posted on 2007-03-28 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked the flow and the minimalism - Freedom, bondage, yin & yang - liked this one - but you are the fairy of Light!

Happy Day!
love,peace,joy&smiles to share
tif
| Posted on 2007-03-16 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  i love this! it seems as if she was trying to help somebody but doesn't believe she can... very good!
| Posted on 2007-03-12 00:00:00 | by Kaygrl | [ Reply to This ]
  it sounds like she sacrificed herself for the world's freedom. so everything is right in the world. her role has been destined. very brave, selfless, and tragically beautiful.
| Posted on 2007-03-09 00:00:00 | by laniejane | [ Reply to This ]
  it sounds like she sacrificed herself for the world's freedom. so everything is right in the world. her role has been destined. very brave, selfless, and tragically beautiful.
| Posted on 2007-03-09 00:00:00 | by laniejane | [ Reply to This ]
  This is written technically well. It does nothing for me personally, but it is fairly well worded. The meter in this is off, but it can be easily fixed.

singing such a mournful tune

I think this would be better if you switched "such" with out. It makes it seem a little more powerful.

Solemn in your reverie,
thinking of all the things that can not be....

This is where your meter starts to get a little off. I think this would be better left at "Thinking of all that cannot be". It shortens the line and fits in with the meter better.

Wallowing in your everlasting misery,

Maybe get rid of "your". It sounds slightly redundant as the reader already knows that your talking about or to the fairy.

Can you not see,
this is the way things must be,
so the world can be set free

Shorten this up; you use many words that are unnecassary. The idea behind these lines are wonderful, try not to drown them in words. Compare to:

Can't you see,
This is how things must be
To set the world free

Not too bad. The idea behind this poem is commendable, anything inspired by art is bound to be beautiful. Set your work free.
| Posted on 2007-03-08 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngel | [ Reply to This ]
  This was written very well. It reminded me of myself at times when I'm not feeling emotionally well. The flow was awesome and the rhyming was great. This was a really touching piece. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

Saint Razor
| Posted on 2007-03-07 00:00:00 | by brknprclndol | [ Reply to This ]

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