Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dark Fairydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Lil gal
    ASL Info:    32/F-ya/here
    Elite Ratio:    3.19 - 355/216/36
    Words: 64
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1190
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 405



    Description:
       I was inspired by a picture of a fairy on the moon, man i wish i could be that fairy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDark Fairydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dark Fairy, sitting upon the moon,
    singing such a mournful tune.

    Solemn in your reverie,
    thinking of all the things that can not be....

    Wallowing in your everlasting misery,
    is it really such a tragedy?

    Can you not see,
    this is the way things must be,
    so the world can be set free.

    For you are the Dark Fairy.




    Submitted on 2007-03-07 18:59:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Simple and well put. I like it.
    | Posted on 2015-07-26 00:00:00 | by Depression420 | [ Reply to This ]
      i was first drawn to this poem bcuz i have a fairy tattoo.. of the fairy on the moon lol i love this piece n reminds me of my tatt but also how you got ur message clear n a short piece.
    | Posted on 2007-04-10 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed this poem a lot. And reading what Ben Gunn said, is the light fairy the sun (or on the sun depending on how you're doing it). And while I'm thinking about it, is the dark fairy supposed to be the moon, man (or woman) in the moon, or just on the moon. I don't suppose it matters. I loved the poem though. I have a feeling I'd like the Dark Fairy over the Light one if I ever met them. Probably because I love to stare at the moon. If I stared at the sun I'd go blind. But this was an excellent poem, I wouldn't change a thing.

    The Bird
    | Posted on 2007-04-10 00:00:00 | by Swimming Bird | [ Reply to This ]
      My favorite lines were "this is the way things must be,
    so the world can be set free." Sometimes we just have to accept that fact. I liked this poem! :-) Sharon
    | Posted on 2007-04-04 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
      Could the light Faerie and the dark Faerie ever exist at the same time? could they ever meet? see what you've started?
    | Posted on 2007-04-03 00:00:00 | by Ben Gunn | [ Reply to This ]
      If - ipso facto - the Dark Fairy ( I think you should have called it "Dark Faerie" btw...but anyway...) exists and is bound in her own world, full of intent but riven by impossibility - can the Light Fairy make her whole again?

    I'm not being facetious, cos I normally hate stuff like this, but you could serialise it...

    The whole idea has really caught my imagination.

    Excellent.
    | Posted on 2007-03-29 00:00:00 | by Ben Gunn | [ Reply to This ]
      An arcane, but very interesting piece of poetry, with a potent title by the way ... nifty poem and very deftly written ... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ...
    | Posted on 2007-03-28 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the flow and the minimalism - Freedom, bondage, yin & yang - liked this one - but you are the fairy of Light!

    Happy Day!
    love,peace,joy&smiles to share
    tif
    | Posted on 2007-03-16 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      i love this! it seems as if she was trying to help somebody but doesn't believe she can... very good!
    | Posted on 2007-03-12 00:00:00 | by Kaygrl | [ Reply to This ]
      it sounds like she sacrificed herself for the world's freedom. so everything is right in the world. her role has been destined. very brave, selfless, and tragically beautiful.
    | Posted on 2007-03-09 00:00:00 | by laniejane | [ Reply to This ]
      it sounds like she sacrificed herself for the world's freedom. so everything is right in the world. her role has been destined. very brave, selfless, and tragically beautiful.
    | Posted on 2007-03-09 00:00:00 | by laniejane | [ Reply to This ]
      This is written technically well. It does nothing for me personally, but it is fairly well worded. The meter in this is off, but it can be easily fixed.

    singing such a mournful tune

    I think this would be better if you switched "such" with out. It makes it seem a little more powerful.

    Solemn in your reverie,
    thinking of all the things that can not be....

    This is where your meter starts to get a little off. I think this would be better left at "Thinking of all that cannot be". It shortens the line and fits in with the meter better.

    Wallowing in your everlasting misery,

    Maybe get rid of "your". It sounds slightly redundant as the reader already knows that your talking about or to the fairy.

    Can you not see,
    this is the way things must be,
    so the world can be set free

    Shorten this up; you use many words that are unnecassary. The idea behind these lines are wonderful, try not to drown them in words. Compare to:

    Can't you see,
    This is how things must be
    To set the world free

    Not too bad. The idea behind this poem is commendable, anything inspired by art is bound to be beautiful. Set your work free.
    | Posted on 2007-03-08 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngel | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. It reminded me of myself at times when I'm not feeling emotionally well. The flow was awesome and the rhyming was great. This was a really touching piece. Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

    Saint Razor
    | Posted on 2007-03-07 00:00:00 | by brknprclndol | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    137130

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry