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The Establishment

Author: huntingjonathon
ASL Info:    31/M/San Fran
Elite Ratio:    3 - 69 /117 /61
Words: 112
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 844
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 780


The Establishment

by the prongs of a fork,
against a serving dish,
while the crowd
life drip by in a massive
red attack
upon the shiny porcelain
that contrasts with
my disemboweled soul.

They ask why
I do not move but
instead choose to lay still,
only breathing, for
the remainder of my
dismal existence.

They never ask how
the dying,
who were once
viewers themselves,
continue to become
the viewed;

as they never learn from
the sacrificial hues
that continue to stain
the establishment

they so love.

-jonathon shank

Submitted on 2007-03-08 02:12:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Very nice.
I very much enjoyed your diction. Furthermore, the format was effective in progressing and digressing in the appropriate areas, to draw emphasis to certain issues.
I feel there could be a more "original" alternative to "soul" on the last line of the first stance. I've just read that word too many times in poor excuses for poems; your write is accomplished, and deserves more.

Ok thanks for sharing.
| Posted on 2007-03-08 00:00:00 | by SilverScent | [ Reply to This ]

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