More tears

Author: LadyMerlina ASL Info:    24/ F/ Montreal Elite Ratio:    3.07 - 60 /93 /58 Words: 65

Class/Type: Misc /Misc Total Views: 713 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 410

Description:

---

More tears

---

Nothing more to look forward to but a void in life and in love. I recognize my being as the crying face in the mirror. My eyes glazed with tears every breath stabbing like a spear. It physically hurts to live without you. There is nothing more to look forward to. Only more tears from me and no more smiles from you.

Submitted on 2007-03-08 07:49:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_< 2: I dunno... 3: meh! 4: Pretty cool 5: Wow!

Comments

I totally agree with "silverscent" ...and I’ve read so much poems about the same subject , but each one had its own way of being special , I liked the line " no more smiles from you " ... coz a smile is really a symbol of warmth love and affection ...good job

| Posted on 2007-03-16 00:00:00 | by drakoniss | [ Reply to This ]

That was a very simple write, but very sad and touching. The language and format in general was straightforward, and in a way minimal. Yet the effect was far from it. The subtleness was heart wrenching and the last two lines especially were powerful. The basic ideas "crying," "tears" and "love" were common (cliché) words, and I'd normally suggest a more creative alternative, but I don't think creativity was the primary object of this poem. Just emotion. And it was emotional. Thanks for sharing.

| Posted on 2007-03-08 00:00:00 | by SilverScent | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest. 2. Try not to give only compliments. 3. How did it make you feel? 4. Why did it make you feel that way? 5. Which parts? 6. What distracted from the piece?

7. What was unclear? 8. What does it remind you of? 9. How could it be improved? 10. What would you have done differently? 11. What was your interpretation of it? 12. Does it feel original?

137191