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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Love Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Emo Angel
    ASL Info:    15/f/Texas
    Elite Ratio:    3.06 - 17/26/24
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 807
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 832



    Description:
       This is my most recent one.From 'Nest' to 'One Act Play' I had wrote those last year and just now put them up. I wrote this for my recent byofriend because I thought I saw him talking to another girl and holding her hand but I'm pushed that out of my mind now because, like all my friends say, he wouldn't ever do that.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Love Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I lay my head
    down to rest
    and pray and hope
    I'm not second best.

    I saw you
    the other day.
    It looked like you held another's hand
    but I just walked away.

    Please don't tell me
    I saw what I thought I saw.
    I begin to think it true
    and start to bawl.

    You told me you loved me
    and I believed you.
    Please don't break me heart
    and be like the last guy too.

    I wish someone
    could truly love me
    and no one else.
    But...I guess it's not ment to be.

    I blink the tears away
    and sigh.
    I keep praying
    you wont say goodbye.

    I fall asleep
    and dream of you
    and silently whisper
    I love you.




    Submitted on 2007-03-08 09:41:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Even if he did hold the hand of another girl, you have done a great job of writing down your feelings but still keeping them in a simple form. And no matter what happens even if he doesn't love you, you will always have the way you felt about him and he can never take that away from you, even if he doesn't feel the same. Always remember that. Great write

    Cogito, Ergo Sum


    Christopher
    | Posted on 2007-03-08 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      You have one correction to make from what I see "ment" should be "meant" other then that, it had a nice little beat to it.
    "I fall asleep
    and dream of you
    and silently whisper
    I love you."

    This part conused m a bit,did you whisper i while you were asleep, in your dreams? -Or- Did you wake up and say it. I'm stickler for detail I'm afraid. Also with the last stanza, I was thinking about it and perhaps adding another "I" would make it seem more put together

    I fall asleep
    and dream of you
    and silently I whisper
    "I love you."

    Peace (V)
    Karios
    | Posted on 2007-03-08 00:00:00 | by Karios | [ Reply to This ]


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