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Chuck Norris Pt.2

Author: insphered soul
ASL Info:    19/M/ Hmmm?
Elite Ratio:    6.49 - 450 /382 /94
Words: 1542
Class/Type: Story /Comedy
Total Views: 2019
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 9419


It's random, you just gotta keep reading, its totally worth it, or atleast that's what people tell me.

Oh yeah.


Chuck Norris Pt.2

*huge explosion*

Zach: Holy schnizer!
Lance: Holy schnizer!
Logan: Holy schnizer!
Dewayne: Cheese!

Zach: dude, why the hell are you always talking about cheese?
Dewayne: cheese......mmmmmmmm........bacon..........and ass.
Logan: Did you just ask me for some hot ass?

Huge explosion in china again

Chinese Man: Sheng ying poontanganang!

*chuck norris pops through the door screaming*

Chuck Norris: Please god dont let them take me again, PLEASE GOD!!!!

*A huge mob of girls grabs chuck norris and pulls him through the same door as they scream the darth vader theme song that mysteriously sounds like Dewayne when he touches himself at night*

Dewayne: Whoa, that darth vader theme song sounds like me when I touch myself at night.

Zach: you sick f***.

Lance: Eeetsamagwichi mother fuqwa!

just then, the old lady pops out of a corner screaming about the land of Nordak and how a river troll stole her mail.

Old lady: they stole my mail!

Zach: *high pitched girly fag voice* mothers ass, why do you let them treat you like this? You bunch of pussies!

Kai, Rei and Logan walk into McDonalds for some burgers.

Logan: Oh my god.

Kai: whoa.

Rei: no way!

Zach is standing behind the counter flipping burgers.

Zach: I really didn't think you'd come here...........mwahahahahaha!

*Zach goes crazy and starts bouncing off the walls throwing burgers at everyone*

Zach: I'm the burger man! Catch me if you can!

Logan: lets go back to the house dudes.

Back at the house. Everyone hears a weird sucking noise coming from Dewayne's room.

Zach: What is that?

Logan goes to the door and opens it. Inside the room, Dewayne is making out with a watermelon.

Dewayne: Wha-? close the damn door!

Just then in indonesia

Slave captain: Work faster boy! *whips young worker boy*

Young worker boy: bing tong hin yan!!!! yan you bastard!

Just then in minesota a young boy is traveling to the otherside of nowhere to find somewhere.

Young boy: Dude, f*** this journey. I dont need my gosh damn mail back. What dumb f*** retard goes to Nordak for a f***ing bill?


Zach: Now that we're in Nordak I can get my mail and reclaim my bill.

Dewayne: Did you just ask me for some hot ass?

Zach: Dude, please dont rub wax on your man tities again.

Dewayne: *girly fag voice* too late! Oooooh ahhhh! *Dewayne pours hot wax on his man tities and singes his nipples* Oh Geezus Kryst!

Lance: Dude, that is so sick.

Logan: I think its sexy.

*a door magically appears and chuck norris's head pops out*

chuck norris: did someone just say sexy?

*a mob of girls with ultra trimmed and painted fingernails at Sam's hair and salon is available today for all you girls who want to look pretty for that special man on your date tonight, but always remember-

Zach: Why do we always lose the story?

Dewayne: Mmmmm, hot ass.

Tyler: I'm a fag! I like to do naughty bad stuff with elephants! Oh yeah, your a big boy aren't ya?

Shenron: Holy shit, he's not getting a wish from me!

Po: Uh oh!

Zach: why the hell is there a 300 mile long dragon and a 2 feet high teletubbie in this story?

Author of this story: Dude, shut the fuck up.

Zach: what the f***? Why are there stars on my f***'s and it's unedited on yours? That is bullshit!

Author of this story: Because I'm zach freaking rigdon. Fucking noob.

Scape Kai: Die goblin bitch!

Shenanzer: what the f***?

Skip to the land of runescape

Scape Kai: Mijitsu 2515, go f*** yourself.

Mijitsu 2515: I will slice your dick off with my rune blade dude.

Punk 754: Sounds sexy.

*a door magically appears and chuck norris's head comes out again*

Chuck Norris: did someone say sexy?

*a mob of girls pulls him back through the door*

Scape Kai: holy schnizer!

Zach: dude, what the hell? How is he here?

Logan: It's Chuck Norris, he's that amazing!

Dewayne: did you just ask me for some hot ass again?

Lance: Queer.

Dewayne tries to apologize to Lance by writing his name in hot candle wax on his man tities but it just makes Lance want to cry and do bad things to himself to make it go away.

Zach: cut across for attention, cut down to kill yourself.

Chinese man: sheng ying poontang yan hing!
Lance: Eeetsamagwichi mother fuqwa!
Chinese man: tin haun erecty!
Lance: sucky sucky five dollar!

Zach: hit me you can't hurt me!

Chuck Norris round house kicks him from nowhere. Zach dies.

Chinese man: Seems we have to find the dragon balls again.

Logan: you speak english?

Chinese man: cheng heren bi!

Later that day at Zach's trial

Judge: I sentence you to 5 years in prison.

Lance: No!

Logan: No!

Dewayne: No!

Skipper: No!

Kool-aid man: oh yeah! *looks around then slowly back steps out of hole in wall*

Zach: Well, now that I'm out of jail, we can go to Nordak to get my mail.

Lance: dude, the hell with that.

Zach: *acting like Robin when slate gets away* HOW COULD YOU LET HIM GET AWAY!?!?!?!?

Juggernaut: I'm the Juggernaut bitch! You cannot harm me!

Proffesor X: U magwagwi fitee sow, U magwagwi fitee sow

Juggernaut: shut the fuck up Charles, shut the fuck up

chinese girl playing pokemon: God damn you Bernice.

Bernice: *cry*

White Goodman: I dont think I'm alot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought I was once.
Peter: I think I'll take my chances in the tournament.
White: Yeah, you will take your chances in the tournament.
Peter: thats what I just said.
White: I know thats what you just said, thats what I'm saying to you.
Peter: Okay, I'm not sure where your going with this.
White: Well I'm not sure where your going with this.
Peter: okay?
White: toushay.

Weird lady: I left my liquor on my porch last night, my pussy cat drink it and it got real tight, tight pussy! sore, wet, hot, tight, bald, free pussy, just a friendly little cat *chorus* friendly little cat.

Zach: I think its time we ended this story.

Skipper: I think so too.

Zach: Well, lets get some sleep while everyone else jackasses around.

Skipper: Yay!

Zach and Skipper go to Zach's room and cover up in the bed and sleep while Dewayne goes back to his room and makes out with his watermelon.

Lance: I dont mean no harm, I can see you my t-shirt on.
Logan: I can see you with nothing on feeling on me before you bring that on.
Lance: Bring that on?
Logan: You know what I mean.
Lance: girl I'm a freak you shouldn't say those things!
Logan: I'm trying to get inside of your brain, to see if you can work me the way that you say.
Lance: Its okay, its all right, I got something that you gonna like.
Logan: Is that the truth or are you talking trash? The game mvp like state mash.
Lance: promiscuous girl, whoever you are, I'm all alone, and its you that I want.
Logan: promiscuous boy, I'm calling your name, but your driving me crazy the way you makin me faint
Lance: promiscuous girl, your teasin me, you know what I want and I got what you need.
Logan: promiscuous boy, we're one and the same, so somethin somethin.

Gogeta: the sayins? They are here. I am they. We are one.

Chuck Norris: It seems as though we must fight.
Chuck Norris: It seems so.

*both Chuck Norris's do a round house kick that meets in mid air and the equalness is so amazing and the power is so great that it destroys every planet within a thousand miles, but strangely not Earth. I mean come on! It's Chuck Norris! He's that amazing!

Zach: A Chuck Norris round house kick doesn't just kill someone, it totally wipes them from the face of existence.
Skipper: shut up about Chuck Norris and get back in here!
Zach: gotta go.

End of story

Submitted on 2007-03-08 10:09:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  That story is pretty [censored]ed up, but I kinda like it. It's definately worth reading once. Then you can bore holes in your brain to try and forget it. If Chuck Norris doesn't round house kick you first. Sexy.
| Posted on 2007-03-08 00:00:00 | by Swimming Bird | [ Reply to This ]

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