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    dots Submission Name: Twilight Moonlightdots

    Author: Ryu Saiashi
    ASL Info:    20/M/WA
    Elite Ratio:    3.25 - 17/18/6
    Words: 77
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 893
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 546

       This I wrote one night while I was gazing at the moon. I don't understand HOW it inspired this, but oh well. It's like, the second poem I ever wrote, but I still like it, despite its slight flaws. Another amusing fact about it I didn't originally write it on paper, rather I texted it to my own cell phone as I came up with its stanza.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTwilight Moonlightdots

    The orange moon
    Of this twilight hour,
    Will be the one to swoon,
    She who I desire.

    It's bright gaze,
    Will shineth upon thee,
    for many days,
    Setting thy lust free.

    It's orbital dance
    O'er and through the horizon
    Puts a trance
    On those who are risin'.

    O the glory! How divine!
    It emphasizes the beauty of my loved one!
    But sadly this love can not be mine,
    For alas, there's another man!

    Submitted on 2007-03-09 11:52:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Written in the romance period form. Short and sweet like great romance poetry was, Very well done. Simple but thought out since the ending carried all the power of the poem. Great Write.

    Cogito, Ergo Sum
    | Posted on 2007-03-09 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      Great peice, especially since this is the second poem you've ever written. Not to mention also that you was texting this, not actually writing it.

    Anyway, I like your word usage in this poem. You used them well and fit more descriptive words into the rhyme instead of simple childish words. Also, there's a lot of emotional value it seems in this poem. The speaker seems to be in love with someone, but they're out of reach, well with another person. That's classic . I think a lot of people will be able to relate to this.

    If this is about you, I wish you the best of luck. I've had problems like that in the past, and I hope I don't have any more, which I probably will. It can turn into a quite heart breaking ordeal....Good write, and keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2007-03-09 00:00:00 | by Draigon | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this one. I think I'll add it to my favorites.
    | Posted on 2007-03-09 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this one. I think I'll add it to my favorites.
    | Posted on 2007-03-09 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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