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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My heart....dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SuicidalDrug
    ASL Info:    14-f-ks
    Elite Ratio:    1.22 - 3/15/19
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 69
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 771



    Description:
       sadness


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy heart....dots
    -------------------------------------------


    My heart bleeds for you to see, the brokeness inside of me, i cry at night that i can hold you in my arms forever more, i cry at night so i can see your sweet face, forever more. When i wake of the moring light, i cry because you dont see how i feel. you are the cure that will help me heal. heal my broken heart, please dont make us part, part away from the rest, for you are the best, best for my heart, best for my soul, best for my life, but im friends with a knife, we meet alot, for it hits the spot, that spot where my heart needs to feel, for that will heal my heart for that will heal my soul, it makes me feel so cold, yet so warm inside, its better to be cold inside, that to run away and hide, hide from you, hide from lie, hide with my precious silver knife.




    Submitted on 2007-03-09 15:44:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This well written the only thing i can say is try to put it inot stanz's/bars like this...

    "
    My heart bleeds for you to see,
    the brokeness inside of me,
    i cry at night that i can hold you in my arms forever
    i cry at night so i can see your sweet face, forever more.

    When i wake of the moring light,
    i cry because you dont see how i feel.
    you are the cure that will help me heal.
    heal my broken heart, please dont make us part,
    part away from the rest,
    for you are the best, best for my heart, best for my soul, best for my life, but im friends with a knife.

    we meet alot, for it hits the spot, that spot where my heart needs to feel,
    for that will heal my heart for that will heal my soul,
    it makes me feel so cold, yet so warm inside,
    its better to be cold inside, that to run away and hide, hide from you, hide from lie, hide with my precious silver knife."

    It make it easier to read for the reader....N don't try to use I so much n tryto cut down the on the comma's
    Sorry if im seem like im being to a*shole... just trying to help ya out...

    well hope to hear from ya n keep up the good work...

    Max
    Aka
    Lil'Mix

    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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