Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: We Are All Dirtydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 597
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 917



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWe Are All Dirtydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ride the wind through your hair,
    Press against a face
    Proud and worn,
    Eyes that stare
    With consuming grace
    Of flammable loins.

    Your hair smells of sweet
    And dishonorable things
    You have pride
    But not when it comes to me,
    Your hips rise above
    With silky pelvic wings
    You can't hide
    Behind all the joyful screams.

    Lick your moist skin
    Salty, underneath still sweet
    You had died
    Shedding off your former lovers,
    I stare up at you and grin
    Your eyes are closed breathing the heat
    An outburst cried
    The motion fires off the sheets.

    We are all dirty
    But love always is
    When the weak are sturdy
    As two soul mingle,
    Time when emotions crash in
    Good and Evil, the same.
    In the darkness glows passion.




    Submitted on 2007-03-09 17:56:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I appreciated the raw scourge of teenage sex. It'd be nice to strike a balance of virginwhitesheets and stainedsin[censored], but I like what you've done, especially these lines: We are all dirty
    But love always is
    When the weak are sturdy.

    Word.

    melora
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by Melora | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    137350

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Every..... written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    True Death written by layDsayD
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    AI written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Cover written by saartha
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Push written by JanePlane
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Your Lover written by Cordell

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry