[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: What Would It Be Like To Hold Youdots

    Author: theman
    ASL Info:    21/m/mn
    Elite Ratio:    3.52 - 496/478/149
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 705
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 970

       Who know who this is for....so it's all good

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhat Would It Be Like To Hold Youdots

    "Sittin here...

    Tring to think what to write bout dis girl....
    thats whats wrong,
    im thinking with my head
    not my heart..."

    So where should I start..

    I don't want to rush things
    but its eating me inside n out
    not knowing what we could of been....
    PRETTY then n PRETTY Now
    Its amazing your Voice still makes me weak
    Somthing never change
    I would exchange anything
    From my looks to saying fuck the crew
    just to see what would of happened between me n you...

    Im just tring to stay true...
    Unlike your other so called Boo's
    I ain't got nothin to lose
    From the bottom of my heart is true
    I will always stay loyal to you....

    I rather have you has a friend,
    Then nothin at all........

    You know who you are...... If u think im trippin just tell me....

    Submitted on 2007-03-10 11:13:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like it. Its unique, but it makes sense. You have a wonderful writing gift and obviously been through a lot. I really like your writing style. After editing this it could be so much more amazing. Good Job. I look forward to reading more. <3
    | Posted on 2007-03-20 00:00:00 | by bleedinbabygrl8 | [ Reply to This ]
      hi, it needs edit but i got it, try using "word" if you got it. passion and love are very hard to write about. poe
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      Sorry - the minute you started with the hip-hop terminology you lost me - not cuz I ain't fly with it, homey, but just cuz it's lazy and clichéd. Why bother when the standard usage of english works so well?

    Rap and hip-hop as art-forms in their own right, absolutely.
    Rap and hip-hop just thrown into what others write -
    absolutely not.

    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by Ben Gunn | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Linger written by saartha
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Incubus written by monad
    Push written by JanePlane
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bond written by saartha
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]