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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Numbdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/378
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Rant/Depressed
    Total Views: 499
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 636



    Description:
       Uh... I don't even know where to begin....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNumbdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm numb to all thats happend
    My head is spinning
    I can't keep ground...
    Its as if time is standing still
    As I go Round Round and Round
    Never letting up...
    Never stopping to take a breath..
    Its all happening to fast
    All these ways to numb the pain..
    Yet when this alternative soultion..
    As worn off..
    What shall I do
    Run back to what I think is helping this pain I am exposed to...
    When in all reality..
    My alternative ways to help myself is only making this pain...
    Sronger...
    Bolder...
    What am I to do...




    Submitted on 2007-03-10 12:41:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      As previously mentioned, the typos kinda [censored] the flow up. You could have also expanded ( or expounded ) further on both the causes of the pain and the solutions that were working only temporarily.

    Everyone has suffered/tried to ease their suffering - so to make it distinctive I think you have to dig deeper, even maybe to a point which makes you feel uncomfortable, to differentiate between a howl of anguish and an everyday irritation.

    Just my thoughts, no slight, insult or put-down intended.

    If writing makes you happy, happier, or just less [censored]ed up, then stick with it, and ignore cynical old [censored]s like me.
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by Ben Gunn | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it. a few typos but really good. i know a lot of people will be able to relate. keep up tyhe awesome work.


    love
    tina
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Well first off with all dat going around n aorund u should be very dizzy...j/k but this piece express very well how u feel bout not knowing what to do anymore...like some hits over and over agian not letting u get up for a chance to get know what is going on....

    well hope to hear form ya

    Max
    Aka
    Lil'Mix
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]


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