ok first of all i saw your message in the shoutbox to comment on two of your poems. honestly i ignored the last part of your message and decided to comment on whatever. i got this.
and i dont know why
when you cry
a miracle happened
when i looked into your eyes
when you cry
COME ON! you basically put four lines together all of which are clichés. please put more thought into your writing. this isnt cute. or nice. or anything close to good writing. this could be written by a ten year old. im sorry if im being too harsh but i hope you learn from this criticism. you can do better than this. i agree with DeeBaby6389 (good advice by the way). . by no means am i saying im a poet or a good writer but nevertheless, it's not the amount of poems that makes the poet. it's the quality of the poems. so stop trying to write a lot of pieces and concentrate on improving them girl! you can do better! i hope you dont feel down cause of what i said. if you want to improve your writing take this as a wake up call alright? if not. ignore me and my huge mouth. if ever you need help with anything im here *hug*
I have to agree with Ben, this seems really adolescent. To me it feels like you were holding something back. You want to tell a story, but I don't know what the story is yet. Add to it, make it say what you want to get across. Okay miracles happen, how do you know that, what kind of miracles, why were you crying? Decide what is important and help your reader figure that out.