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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: miracles happendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 27
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 324
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 198



    Description:
       i dont really believe in miracles or faerie tales anymore.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmiracles happendots
    -------------------------------------------


    miracles happen
    and i dont know why
    miracles happen
    when you cry

    a miracle happened
    when i looked into your eyes
    miracles happen
    when you cry




    Submitted on 2007-03-10 12:55:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      ok first of all i saw your message in the shoutbox to comment on two of your poems. honestly i ignored the last part of your message and decided to comment on whatever. i got this.

    miracles happen
    and i dont know why
    miracles happen
    when you cry

    a miracle happened
    when i looked into your eyes
    miracles happen
    when you cry

    COME ON! you basically put four lines together all of which are clichés. please put more thought into your writing. this isnt cute. or nice. or anything close to good writing. this could be written by a ten year old. im sorry if im being too harsh but i hope you learn from this criticism. you can do better than this. i agree with DeeBaby6389 (good advice by the way). . by no means am i saying im a poet or a good writer but nevertheless, it's not the amount of poems that makes the poet. it's the quality of the poems. so stop trying to write a lot of pieces and concentrate on improving them girl! you can do better! i hope you dont feel down cause of what i said. if you want to improve your writing take this as a wake up call alright? if not. ignore me and my huge mouth. if ever you need help with anything im here *hug*

    Kat
    | Posted on 2007-06-10 00:00:00 | by moonlitsky | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh girl! Never give up on your dreams or stop believing - keep the faith and you'd be amazed at what will come your way ~*~

    For the length it did have a lot to say and a tinge of saddness.

    Think positive, even when you think there's nothing to be positive about, and I'm positive good will come your way ~*~Positively!

    love,peace,joy&smiles to share
    tif
    | Posted on 2007-03-13 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      i think its nice and to the point... kinda reminded me of the song, Angels Cry, by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
    | Posted on 2007-03-11 00:00:00 | by rapius | [ Reply to This ]
      hi, really not bad, it's simple to the point, and i like it, poe
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to agree with Ben, this seems really adolescent. To me it feels like you were holding something back. You want to tell a story, but I don't know what the story is yet. Add to it, make it say what you want to get across. Okay miracles happen, how do you know that, what kind of miracles, why were you crying? Decide what is important and help your reader figure that out.
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by DeeBaby6389 | [ Reply to This ]
      urgh. I think every 13 year old has written something like this then binned it, or filed it under "horrible cliché"

    God, I wish I hadn't read two of your things and found them both so...adolescent...

    I'm sorry - I just say what I see, it's nothing personal.

    Please keep writing if it makes you happy, and just ignore ppl like me.

    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by Ben Gunn | [ Reply to This ]
      For being such a short piece it siad alot in such few words..... u should add more to this piece u would make a pretty good song....
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]


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