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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Subloop V.02dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ben Gunn
    Elite Ratio:    3.88 - 62/84/40
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 387
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 768



    Description:
       Addiction is the scourge of mankind. Any age, any race, any creed. We all have to make choices for ourselves, however - and I'm no evangelist. Do what you need to do - but just realise that for every rainbow there has to be rain...

    ...hard damn rain and lots of it, sometimes...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSubloop V.02dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Not yet asleep but not truly awake,
    Hating yet needing the oncoming ache,
    Feeling good never felt so damn wrong,
    Alive, and aware after being dead for so long.

    No longer obscured but not fully revealed,
    Feeling pain from sores that will never be healed,
    Unlike life's scars which all eventually fade,
    Along with the memory of each mistake made,

    So let's keep each wound fresh, a reminder eternal,
    Keep the memories clear, but their scarring internal,
    Save the regrets, the guilt and the tears,
    and celebrate the great escape
    I've been trying to
    make
    for
    years...




    Ben Gunn 21.03.02 / 10.03.07




    Submitted on 2007-03-10 16:49:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I was slightly sad to see the predictability of this poem, the kind a sixth grader writes for a class assignment, a wavering attempt to find depth. You can do better then clichés like the rhyming scheme in here, what next?
    | Posted on 2007-03-29 00:00:00 | by Waywarddaughter | [ Reply to This ]
      You have all these interesting titles and the content just continues to turn out quite banal. You can do better. If you're really "old," then I have faith that you have more ability than a wretched high schooler like myself.

    melora
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by Melora | [ Reply to This ]
      hi, not a bad call on life, good write. poe
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by poetotoe | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked it. It was really meaningful. I usually dont like the predictability of end rhymes, but yours don't sound predictable at all. It's a great poem and it tells the story beautifully.
    | Posted on 2007-03-10 00:00:00 | by DeeBaby6389 | [ Reply to This ]


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