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Stranded/ Nynaeve


Author: Nynaeve
ASL Info:    23, female, Israel
Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 43 /67 /28
Words: 63
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 1001
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 499



Description:


You try to fit in....to wear the same mask that everyone else seems to be wearing around you, because everyone is so fake...but in the end your realize it's all a waste of time and you're better off on your own... Isolating yourself from everyone.


Stranded/ Nynaeve



One final solution
To end the illusion
Total isolation
It's all a mere deception.

A masquerade ball
Faces so dull
A deep ached sensation
Their hypocrite creation.

My grieving's coronation
My late night divination
After all the dedication
It's all a degradation.

My haven I will reach
It's all a tear away
Ascending into slumber
I take away the shame.




Submitted on 2007-03-11 17:25:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  You never cease to amaze me - with English being your second language, you have a far better grasp of visionary words than I do, and I was born here, and call myself a writer!

Great job - The only thing I would say is that your rhythm falters a bit at the end because you're no longer rhyming by the last verse. However this also works as a fantastic play into the meaning of the poem.

Keep writing! One day, I'll quote you (with your permission, of course) in one of my novels!

Dan Strohschein
| Posted on 2007-03-12 00:00:00 | by DanStrohschein | [ Reply to This ]
  Do you know what I like best about this?

In the final verse there is a possible double meaning in the word tear - as in ripping or crying.

I don't know whether this was intentional or not, but to me it made a deliciously visual dichotomy of the two possible options, which both fitted the poem perfectly.

Ben Gunn
| Posted on 2007-03-11 00:00:00 | by Ben Gunn | [ Reply to This ]


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