[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Avaritia (Third Deadly Sin)dots

    Author: Syn
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 115/136/83
    Words: 130
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 598
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1023

       Third in the Seven Deadly Sins set. This one is Greed.
    Those sent to Purgatorio for greed were forced to kneel upon a hard slab of stone and recite the examples of avarice and their opposing virtues.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAvaritia (Third Deadly Sin)dots

    kneel upon the stone
    the virtues shall atone

    littered money tints the sky
    i want it all, i don't know why
    scattered millions in my mind
    enough to make the sun go blind

    kneel upon the stone
    the virtues shall atone

    (((please just get up off the floor
    you filthy money-grubbing whore)))
    if Franklin weren't so easy to adore
    that voice would be harder to ignore

    kneel upon the stone
    the virtues shall atone

    so i smile and i grin and say:
    'i know more is to come my way'
    and yes, i like this dream the best
    sin of excess, just like the rest

    kneel upon the stone
    the virtues shall atone


    Submitted on 2007-03-11 17:34:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i remember this deadly sin series.
    im slack for not having come by sooner to find this installment.

    to be honest im not sure i like the rhyme in this piece. i dont know. it somehow seems to belittle the whole thing.

    though i was a fan of the refrain you had there about kneeling on the stone/atone.


    greed. i guess it could well be deadly. and not just greed for money either.
    perhaps it was greed that caused eve to eat that 'apple' back in the garden of eden... greed that she would be equal to god... greed for knowledge... hmmm...

    im not so sure that this person on this slab of stone will gain their entry to heaven...? there seems to be a lack of opposing virtue in this piece

    i guess its easy to be sidetracked when you want to be though... perhaps for some heaven isnt lure enough...
    | Posted on 2007-05-29 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The World written by jjd
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]