Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: .broken angel.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweetdeath
    ASL Info:    14 && a girl
    Elite Ratio:    0.62 - 8/8/17
    Words: 107
    Class/Type: Misc/Love
    Total Views: 610
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 598



    Description:
       I'm the angel and HE's the SOMEONE.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots.broken angel.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    you see me walking by,,but you don't see me. how far would you look into my eyes? Or would you look right through me? I want to be the one to make you laugh,hold you when you cry.But when I'm gone,you know you did wrong. what could we be together?Even when were touching I feel like were miles apart. Could you ever love a broken angel? One day you saw her,crying alone,you didn't even see me.She is the most georgous thing out there,if you care.When she looks up everthing has stopped.She wonders,how she fall apart when she's got someone to catch her, and that someone is you.




    Submitted on 2007-03-11 23:52:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      so much sorrow and pain.
    only thing i would say is to break it up into stanzas. very nice!!!!
    write on,
    Lanna
    | Posted on 2007-03-14 00:00:00 | by EmeRalDEyeZ5491 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    137543

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry