i just checked out wikipedia like you said to as i had no idea as to who lucretia referred to and i read this:
Two ladies fair, but most unfortunate
Have in their ruins rais'd declining Rome,
Lucretia and Virginia, both renowned
and i feel that this line is no longer true.
it should now read:
'three ladies fair, but most unfortunate have in their ruins rais'd declining rome, lucretia, virginia and jayde, all three renowned for chastity.
9 months ago i was in Rome.
i was doing the "big OE" after having voluntarily taught english in ethiopia for six months and had decided since i was on the other side of the world i may as well check out the rest before returning to the edge of the world on which i dwell. so i was in Rome. ive always wanted to go there. right since i learnt it existed. and i went there. and it was truely magical. i wished i had listened in class more when they told me about roman gods and the likes. but it was still magic and i had a wonderful time and met wonderful people. then one night while out with friends i was dragged down an alley way and beaten and raped. it was a horrific night and the next few days werent so nice either with hospital tests and police reports and no one speaking english...
having said all that (and im not actually sure why i did) i still think Rome is one of the most magical places i visited on my journeys.
i think this piece is powerful.
i think it is unfair that the reader has to know the story in order to understand the piece though. that somewhat limits your target audience right?
i am not sure how i would go about making it more inclusive though because i think if you were to add to this the effect would be lost considerably.
the way you italicized the second lucretia is very skillful.
it tells of woe or desperation... there is grief in that cry.
nothing will ever erase his fingers.
even cutting them off wouldnt do her much good.
was it worth it? who knows...
thats the thing about this piece.
there is little resolve to it.
it leaves the reader deciding for themselves whether it was worth it as if the narrative voice is appealing to them for validation and closure.
was it worth it?
the mourning of a nation in turmoil.
perhaps not entirely due to lucretia but the narrative voice believes that to be the case...
death and happiness...
i dont think they go together myself...
death and peace at a stretch but rarely happiness.
this is a powerful piece though.
i am always interested when people use mythology in their writing. i dont know enough of it myself but ive always found it to be fascinating.
anyways... sorry my comment was rather... personal. i had no intention of it being so. i think the power of your piece caught me off guard but i thank you for giving me the opportunity to respond.
Oooo, I like this. I take Latin, so I learned about Roman history, I like where you go with this. She ended up killing herself, which was very sad, but no, I still don't think is was worth is. This is a thoughtful piece here, especially for the history buffs, who love history. I love Roman history, but some of it is boring, like the Punic Wars, I could never pay attention when he was teaching that.
"The rubble of Rome rests
At the base of your pedestal,"
That's a nice line, especially because if you think of it, it's true, it was because she got raped, and her vagina could basically be called her pedestal, so I like how you played with that. Or maybe you weren't, and I'm a weirdo. Either way, I think it was a good write. Good job.
Be at peace,