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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Scary Thoughtsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Swimming Bird
    ASL Info:    30/m/AR
    Elite Ratio:    5.4 - 92/89/26
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 805
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 503



    Description:
       Just a little Silverstein-ish piece I wrote a couple years ago.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsScary Thoughtsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The light is out.
    What do we do?
    My foot has gout.
    I have to poo.
    The monsters under
    My bed have smelt,
    My decent thunder
    And worse I've dealt.
    Oh no! I think
    I heard one cough.
    I'm on the brink
    Of falling off.
    What was that!?
    Something touched me.
    Now I've sat
    In a puddle of pee.
    I want my mom!
    I want my dad!
    The light is on?!
    Oh! that's too bad.




    Submitted on 2007-03-12 09:58:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      and so the child grew to be
    a lover of psychology
    and all things twisted slightly off
    which taught her demons not to cough
    | Posted on 2009-05-11 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      This made me giggle, I like it, very random and sitting in pee really would suck and not to menton having to poo 2. This makes me want to rock back and forth.
    | Posted on 2008-11-03 00:00:00 | by Lil gal | [ Reply to This ]
      So very cute!
    Silverstein would be very proud of you. :)
    Definetly brought a smile to my face, which was really nice.

    | Posted on 2007-05-23 00:00:00 | by dreamer37517 | [ Reply to This ]
      So cute! ahaha...It helps that I was listening to "why can't we be friends" by Sublime when I read this.
    | Posted on 2007-04-03 00:00:00 | by Waywarddaughter | [ Reply to This ]
      This is seriously messed up. I loved reading it, although the ending was a tad wyrd...in the best possible way.

    I believe in monsters under the bed.

    GBG - Leah
    | Posted on 2007-04-02 00:00:00 | by MornSweetSong | [ Reply to This ]
       i really enjoyed this write, i like the wording you used to make it seem from a childs point of view. very interesting, very cool.
    | Posted on 2007-03-12 00:00:00 | by aleksandra | [ Reply to This ]
      I dont know if this is what you were going for with this write but I found it to be incrediblly sad
    To me you are describing a little girl who has been abused in some way and is very afraid of the outside world and what it holds for her
    I will never understand why people gain satisfaction from destroying a young innocent life by abuse
    I thought the way you wrote this as if from a young small child was perfect
    Excellent Job
    Very Touching!!!
    God Bless
    Ron

    I will be Praying for you
    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2007-03-12 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I had a really interesting and slightly disturbing mental image. Slightly in a sonnet type set up yet it is direct and to the point. Very cool.

    V.G. Komoscov
    | Posted on 2007-03-12 00:00:00 | by Jose Ragnos | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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