Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Scary Thoughtsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Swimming Bird
    ASL Info:    30/m/AR
    Elite Ratio:    5.4 - 92/89/26
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Comedy
    Total Views: 859
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 503



    Description:
       Just a little Silverstein-ish piece I wrote a couple years ago.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsScary Thoughtsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The light is out.
    What do we do?
    My foot has gout.
    I have to poo.
    The monsters under
    My bed have smelt,
    My decent thunder
    And worse I've dealt.
    Oh no! I think
    I heard one cough.
    I'm on the brink
    Of falling off.
    What was that!?
    Something touched me.
    Now I've sat
    In a puddle of pee.
    I want my mom!
    I want my dad!
    The light is on?!
    Oh! that's too bad.




    Submitted on 2007-03-12 09:58:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      and so the child grew to be
    a lover of psychology
    and all things twisted slightly off
    which taught her demons not to cough
    | Posted on 2009-05-11 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      This made me giggle, I like it, very random and sitting in pee really would suck and not to menton having to poo 2. This makes me want to rock back and forth.
    | Posted on 2008-11-03 00:00:00 | by Lil gal | [ Reply to This ]
      So very cute!
    Silverstein would be very proud of you. :)
    Definetly brought a smile to my face, which was really nice.

    | Posted on 2007-05-23 00:00:00 | by dreamer37517 | [ Reply to This ]
      So cute! ahaha...It helps that I was listening to "why can't we be friends" by Sublime when I read this.
    | Posted on 2007-04-03 00:00:00 | by Waywarddaughter | [ Reply to This ]
      This is seriously messed up. I loved reading it, although the ending was a tad wyrd...in the best possible way.

    I believe in monsters under the bed.

    GBG - Leah
    | Posted on 2007-04-02 00:00:00 | by MornSweetSong | [ Reply to This ]
       i really enjoyed this write, i like the wording you used to make it seem from a childs point of view. very interesting, very cool.
    | Posted on 2007-03-12 00:00:00 | by aleksandra | [ Reply to This ]
      I dont know if this is what you were going for with this write but I found it to be incrediblly sad
    To me you are describing a little girl who has been abused in some way and is very afraid of the outside world and what it holds for her
    I will never understand why people gain satisfaction from destroying a young innocent life by abuse
    I thought the way you wrote this as if from a young small child was perfect
    Excellent Job
    Very Touching!!!
    God Bless
    Ron

    I will be Praying for you
    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2007-03-12 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I had a really interesting and slightly disturbing mental image. Slightly in a sonnet type set up yet it is direct and to the point. Very cool.

    V.G. Komoscov
    | Posted on 2007-03-12 00:00:00 | by Jose Ragnos | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    137584

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    To written by SavedDragon
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Bond written by saartha
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry