[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: You continue longing for more.dots

    Author: ira
    ASL Info:    21.f.ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 238/273/176
    Words: 231
    Class/Type: Poetry/I hate you
    Total Views: 614
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 1621


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou continue longing for more.dots

    Stricken, Oh-so poor,
    The guilt,
    By-pass reason for the sake of your desires
    pestilence upon the grave of loneliness
    showing all your past transgressions.
    Serviced needs, boating cold.
    You walk across that threshold,
    you walk and enter the dark revision.
    Eyes like rose petals painting the quite earth,
    soil born of heavens curse,
    the tricks of heart, mind, and soul
    fuse to become one remote voice,
    one remote mistake of graves built over ice,
    grant the devil morning flowers,
    paint the isles of green red again,
    bathe in blood refused to cleanse,
    and milk, milk that white pure land of its

    Stricken Oh-so poor,
    The act,
    heated in the middle of the night,
    pouring rain down upon that bed,
    where sin ebbs away your children’s breath.
    Bleed upon all that was, fearful child
    singing that old pitiful song.
    Hatred brewing under cold stares,
    and you awake to the idea of selfishness,
    doing all to make-create-the idea of happiness.

    Stricken! Oh-so very so very poor.
    The fact,
    Love is knocking, with a familiar face, on your door.
    Your memory fails you, You fail to remember.
    Seeing her face disgusted-retraced-the ideas he left behind.
    Molted flesh upon the gates of her innocence,
    Hatred melding with that perfuse liquid drowning all the more.
    Bleed, yes he Bled across the floor.
    Welcome, Welcome, you keep asking for more.

    Submitted on 2007-03-12 17:57:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I dont even know where to begin here. Its beautiful. Very well written and so thought provoking. I loved it i loved every line....very well done.

    | Posted on 2007-03-12 00:00:00 | by Amanda Lynn | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Live In Between written by teika5
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]