[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Battle-fieldsdots

    Author: LRRolins
    ASL Info:    17/A/A world you dont own
    Elite Ratio:    5.37 - 142/140/84
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Political
    Total Views: 633
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 844

       Ehh,new scream-core song.I'm not too sure about it yet,but I need some criticism to make sure it is ok..Yea,you know teh drill...Just tell me what you guys think..Remember,WE'RE RECORDING THIS SUMMER.
    <22 Lindel

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Writing memories,I'm slowly losing this war.
    This battle has had too many casulaties,HEAVEN HELP US!!
    An ongoing bloodshed for the cause,the search of individuality - A MISTAKE IN ITSELF!!
    Chicken or sparrow?Spread your wings,let's test your will,YOUR STRENGTH!!WHO ARE YOU MOLE??!
    Plastic festuses,your unborn childern are your soldiers??You'll never win that way...
    GREEN,GREED!!GREEN,ENVY!!The cycle never ends,the blood never dries from this battlefield of our warring demons.
    There's no hope of sight of the end,I guess we'll just have to stand this out forever,dear.

    Submitted on 2007-03-12 21:56:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This wasn't really a coherent peace, with many abstract ideas in an overall theory, but that isn't nescisarily a bad thing at all. This seemed to convey hatred towards war and violence. Feeling like people are forcing kids they don't even have to be condemed to fight, fighting for the wrong reasons, all that kind of thing. I'm not a big fan of scream-core. I prefer jammy stuff, inventive and new styles ect. are what interust me. But, it was ok as far as content goes. The subject is a very clear one which alot of people feel, and you kind of get that "does it really need to be said again?" feeling. It's unlikely that classics of the same subject will ever be topped. War Pigs by sabbath, Imagine by Lennon, there's even lots of new age and hip hop songs with the same subject. I think it would be cool if you took a more unique approach on it. Hell, even black eyed peas and system of a down have equivalents.
    | Posted on 2007-03-13 00:00:00 | by Ygi | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Love written by saartha
    The Azores written by poetotoe
    I Do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cover written by saartha
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Every..... written by jackz
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Etiquette written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    written by Daniel Barlow
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    Push written by JanePlane
    AI written by poetotoe
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]