Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

I Will Not Take to Fear

Author: RequiemOfDreams
ASL Info:    20/M/NJ
Elite Ratio:    3.5 - 97 /140 /38
Words: 95
Class/Type: Poetry /Nature
Total Views: 1179
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 599


My first sonnet, I probably need to get each section a bit more organized but heres the first draft.

I Will Not Take to Fear

I will not take to fear of fear,
Swirling doubts of disarray
In my head- watch your rear
Things beyond control always stay,
Stand as a rock against the tide,
A barrier of protection, of light
But not safe, just a moment to hide,
Although never out of sight,
Crawling, towards a glowing field
To stay fates hand, one must find
The strength lost from holding the shield
Finally, atrophy consumes the mind

From the fear of fear we'll never be free
But if I don't take to it, it will take to me

Submitted on 2007-03-13 13:46:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Nicely written! I really enjoyed this piece! It was fantastic!!! I thought everything was well organized and well written until the last two lines, you might want to consider re-writing it so that it is a full stanza.. then again, are sonnets supposed to end in a two-liners? I'm not sure, its just a suggestion...

Keep writing and keep up the great work!

*~ mist ~*
| Posted on 2007-03-15 00:00:00 | by PrincessDoom13 | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?