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    dots Submission Name: The Delete Buttondots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 529
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 454
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 2830

       I'm just lost inside my own head these days

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Delete Buttondots

    Four years ago, I made a mistake that has ruined my life. I don't know why I did it. I believed that someone loved me. I was convinced by the most beautiful of words that I was what he wanted. That mistake has haunted me ever since. It has made negative ripples throughout each and every day that I live. I didn't mean to do it. I don't know what I did wrong. But, I am constantly paying for it, and everyone that I once thought I knew is now bedecked in a mask of hate.
    The destruction of my actions has ripped through my life much like a hurricane. I will never be the same. My youth, my innocence...casualties of a natural disaster. Though I would like to regain some semblence of normalcy, it eludes me. I can't return to who I was. I can't move on to who I could be.
    I can never love anyone again. I can not give my heart to someone else, because one stills possesses it. I am deeply in love with a memory. The man I loved no longer exists. Someone else walks around in the body that I once knew better than my own. Another mind works beneath the familiar skull. Another pair of eyes watches as I walk across the grass. The man I love is an incomplete chapter in my story. And that in itself is a tragedy.
    I was once a part of something beautiful. We were the sort of couple that made you wonder if you could ever find that kind of love. We were fun, spontaneous, loving, and passionate. There are beautiful memories that can never be lost or forgotten. But that's all we are now. A beautiful memory.
    For two years, I knew what happiness felt like.Now, all I have is the knowledge that my happiness is gone. It can not be re-lived. Those two years are just another memory to be wrapped up and stored away in my chest of broken dreams. I can never have the life that I wanted for myself. That portion of me is also just a beautiful memory. All I have now is the few moments of calm that I can manage to retain throughout each week.
    I have no family anymore. I'm surrounded by petty, selfish, insane people that wear the faces and bodies of my loved ones. But they are not my beloved family. They are all strangers to me now. I feel I've been set adrift in an ocean of hungry pirahnas. They snatch great big chunks of my sanity in their sharp little teeth. No matter how quickly I press the button, I just can not outswim them.
    All that remains is my resolve to complete the story. My stubborn desire to know if the memory could somehow be transported to the present. My hope that all of my dedication is not in vain. My world has been shattered. It makes for an intriguing read.

    But this is not a beautiful piece of poetry.

    This is my heart, my sanity.

    And my hand lingers over the delete button.

    Submitted on 2007-03-13 18:35:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is so bitter sweet, the loss of a love and the feeling of losing touch with your family all wrapped up in learning the truth of things....its a bit wistfull fot my tastes, but it held my attention, had my heart and i loved it....

    sometimes it hurts too much to look back. not because the past is painful, but because it is too perfect to look at anymore.

    you are a great writer....

    | Posted on 2007-03-19 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      This isd one of the few pieces on here that actually held my attention all the way to the end...so defo a successful write in my book. Evoked feelings of sadness, intrigue, curiosity, and the urge to protect in me.

    Well done xxxx
    | Posted on 2007-03-17 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is really powerful. THis is the kind of writing I like. By the way I have given some thought to your story and out of the blue on day while I was just watching a movie I got an answer. I have been thinking this whole time that your story needed something but I couldn't figure it out...then I figured it out and I also found a conclusion. You need theme darling sister friend. And I think the idea of fate would work in your story, since they are going to get back together in the end, and needed the trial seperation and for you to be tiny...so as well, you will have the fate theme to help shape the entire diction of the story, you should more specifically use Tarot, wiccan, something of that nature because that theme is already there and can be encorporated. So. I suggest that you study up on the Tarrot more, find some nifty symbols to place in your story. Like say we did a reading or something and then the rest of the story is that reading, but symbolically or something. It's just a thought, but I think given the nature if my inspiration it could really work, it may be fate *gasp*


    well then, I think that and you should say yeah, brilliant jaz.

    I did really like this last piece. A lot.

    Much luv
    | Posted on 2007-03-15 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Greetings Raivn,

    I read threw your story twice and I understand it word for word. I was in the exact situation as many other people were and are, and that delete button does sound tempting. However, there is no delete button for memories, but you can put a period on it, or press the enter button, starting a new line in your life. Yeah, it sucks and you may believe that you will never be the same; however, it normally does get better when time comes. Easier said then done I know, but that is the way it goes. Be strong; and remember, i'm pulling for you, we're all in this together.

    Good luck,

    V.G. Komoscov
    | Posted on 2007-03-13 00:00:00 | by Jose Ragnos | [ Reply to This ]

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