Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: Jose Ragnos
Elite Ratio:    3.49 - 23 /23 /27
Words: 167
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 795
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 909



She tells me the words I fell in love with,
Now those words are only a long lost myth.
It was simply the three words “I love you.”
Now I do not believe those words are true.

How can you say to me that you love me?
Your voice so soft and weak as if to plea.
Nay then, you love me not. So do not care,
Your longing eyes will be met with a stare.

Get thee to a nunnery and from me be gone,
Do not let your heart rise like the bright dawn.
You will not find any love from my soul,
For it was you my love was doth stole.

All of my memories of you are cursed,
If I look upon you my eyes may burst.
You were the one, who left for another,
Love him, and then dump him for another.

I do not expect to receive pity,
There is nothing left. My soul is empty.

Submitted on 2007-03-13 22:24:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!



How are you? It has been for a long time now since i heard from you.

I like your poem, as usual it touches my heart. It is kind of sad. It is well written and has flaw.

Keep up the good work

With love

| Posted on 2008-03-07 00:00:00 | by shabnam | [ Reply to This ]
  Good feel over all. I feel like the first 4 lines don't really go along with the rest. Most of the poem is like old english and the beginning isn't. Is the first part a segway?
| Posted on 2007-03-15 00:00:00 | by ccbbyblue | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?