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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Once(edit)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Clarkie
    ASL Info:    18/F/FL
    Elite Ratio:    5.33 - 101/76/36
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 657
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 622



    Description:
       Thanks to DavidHirt for line break suggestions.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOnce(edit)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Once the night sky
    was silver black
    and bare feet could
    brush the grass

    A time before
    scraping the sky
    before cement
    and cocaine

    killed the darkness
    massacred black
    to bloody orange
    and faded

    silver to gray
    now the stars hide
    their glory in
    Death bared skies

    because glory
    brings light killers
    some nights the sky's
    dark again

    not black but blue
    the stars are pale
    silver and we
    can breath again




    Submitted on 2007-03-14 00:24:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Nice stuff. Poem made me feel like I was tripping from an once of cocaine. The imagery possesses strong colors and tones. Poem sets the mood and put the reader into a trance. A superbly written poem with timing and flow. Keep telling the truth. A job well done.
    | Posted on 2007-10-16 00:00:00 | by FireFly747 | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely, chock full of colors and wondrous images...nicely and deftly done poem ... bravo ... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-04-09 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      Clarkie, I like the way this reads. Thanks for the kudos, but I can see you made your own changes and they work really well. I particularly like the feel of the last stanza. And I like the way you kept the Rhythm strong.
    | Posted on 2007-03-14 00:00:00 | by DavidHirt | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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