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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: At some abstract locationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AutumnLeaves
    ASL Info:    26/f/ Cyprus
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 95/103/44
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 873
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 961



    Description:
       "Serendipity" is there for a reason only my dim instictive teasing of the heart knows.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAt some abstract locationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I will come and meet
    Your delicate hands
    At some abstract location.

    Where faces cannot see faces
    Because the lights are too charming
    in the nocturnal traffic moment.

    At some foreign corner,
    I will notice the crystal blue,
    The indication of deep genius nature,
    Glancing at the highest open window.

    Let beauty paint her way
    And time run its manifesto
    Through this mysterious space.

    Let us meet,
    Without memories, without minds
    But with only
    the dim instinctive teasing of the heart.

    At some abstract location
    I will finally touch your hands
    And allow you to see.
    Me as a woman that came for you.

    Serendipity will be witnessed
    Inside a vague reality.
    Or serendipity will witness us,

    A face will finally wave between the forgotten lights.




    Submitted on 2007-03-14 16:43:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the dreamy, romantic yearning in this, that urge to escape and meet "at some abstract location" as if the place isn't important, just the contact, just the touching of hands. For the magic of serendipity and love to cut through the grime of reality so that two lovers can meet "without memories, without minds" without all that weight but instead left with just a purity of moment.

    I have just one nitpick that you can consider or ignore. I think in the third strophe the comma after corner isn't really needed and that it really looks better thus:

    At some foreign corner
    I will notice the crystal blue,
    The indication of deep genius nature,
    Glancing at the highest open window.


    But yeah, that's just me be picky.

    Thanks for sharing!
    | Posted on 2007-03-18 00:00:00 | by Icarus | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey this is nice, it really caught my eye, sorry it has taken so long, to get around to reading your stuff, because you commented on mine,
    now in reading this, i really wish that i wouldn't have, because there is someting about this i like, this seems to me to be a blend of reality and superficial events.
    Almost a dream kind of vibe, but that is just what i get from it.
    This is very well put together, i love how it flows.
    Well keep writing.
    I think you have talent, in your skills of words.
    Peace out.
    | Posted on 2007-03-15 00:00:00 | by WonderfulComa | [ Reply to This ]


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