Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the seductive stranger is our clergyman.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: reid kat
    ASL Info:    27/f/Co
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 279/196/34
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 764
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 959



    Description:
       It's something.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe seductive stranger is our clergyman.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Oh little girl, the water feels so good.
    It's merry here, the sirens hum so softly.
    The water's rising, the sirens still sing,
    but I can still hear nothing.

    The preacher is coming by
    with some things he'd like to sell.
    Like Salvation for a nickle,
    but there are other things he'd rather buy.

    Oh little girl, come play in the street.
    The city is merry in its fervor.
    The sirens wail, and the city walks in its drunkeness,
    but it's quiet unless you listen.

    Something shiny for the offering plate,
    walk your hand along the rails.
    Ask the preacher to explain,
    and he'll lean down to whisper in your ear.

    Oh little girl, come meet me by the sand dunes.
    It's lovely today in August.
    Only the sea gulls notice the sirens,
    because the little girl is quiet in the sea.




    Submitted on 2007-03-14 17:22:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You're right- it IS something... Something AWESOME!!!

    "but I can still hear nothing..."

    Great stuff! I missed reading your posts while I was away. What ever happened to A Right To Bare Arms?

    Anyways- off topic; I love the theme of this and the re-occurrence of certain other themes within...
    The title definitely caught my eye, so good job there as well...
    I can offer no suggestions to this because in my opinion it's another of your perfect writes. I think you are one of those- not here for critique, because you are already accomplished... -But here for acknowledgment.
    And I so acknowledge you!!!

    -Ceyx
    | Posted on 2008-03-07 00:00:00 | by Ceyx | [ Reply to This ]
      Well...seductive.

    I like it and am frightened by it at the same time.

    Prettiest part:

    "Oh little girl, come play in the street.
    The city is merry in its fervor.
    The sirens wail, and the city walks in its drunkeness,
    but it's quiet unless you listen."
    | Posted on 2007-03-16 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    137786

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Etiquette written by saartha
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Love written by saartha
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    prison written by ShyOne
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Carry written by saartha
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry