Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the seductive stranger is our clergyman.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: reid kat
    ASL Info:    27/f/Co
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 279/196/34
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 742
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 959



    Description:
       It's something.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe seductive stranger is our clergyman.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Oh little girl, the water feels so good.
    It's merry here, the sirens hum so softly.
    The water's rising, the sirens still sing,
    but I can still hear nothing.

    The preacher is coming by
    with some things he'd like to sell.
    Like Salvation for a nickle,
    but there are other things he'd rather buy.

    Oh little girl, come play in the street.
    The city is merry in its fervor.
    The sirens wail, and the city walks in its drunkeness,
    but it's quiet unless you listen.

    Something shiny for the offering plate,
    walk your hand along the rails.
    Ask the preacher to explain,
    and he'll lean down to whisper in your ear.

    Oh little girl, come meet me by the sand dunes.
    It's lovely today in August.
    Only the sea gulls notice the sirens,
    because the little girl is quiet in the sea.




    Submitted on 2007-03-14 17:22:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You're right- it IS something... Something AWESOME!!!

    "but I can still hear nothing..."

    Great stuff! I missed reading your posts while I was away. What ever happened to A Right To Bare Arms?

    Anyways- off topic; I love the theme of this and the re-occurrence of certain other themes within...
    The title definitely caught my eye, so good job there as well...
    I can offer no suggestions to this because in my opinion it's another of your perfect writes. I think you are one of those- not here for critique, because you are already accomplished... -But here for acknowledgment.
    And I so acknowledge you!!!

    -Ceyx
    | Posted on 2008-03-07 00:00:00 | by Ceyx | [ Reply to This ]
      Well...seductive.

    I like it and am frightened by it at the same time.

    Prettiest part:

    "Oh little girl, come play in the street.
    The city is merry in its fervor.
    The sirens wail, and the city walks in its drunkeness,
    but it's quiet unless you listen."
    | Posted on 2007-03-16 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    137786

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    The World written by jjd
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry