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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Johdee's Questdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MornSweetSong
    ASL Info:    21/female/wales
    Elite Ratio:    4.42 - 110/83/46
    Words: 320
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 791
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 1812



    Description:
       This isn't actually intended to be submitted or for reviews - it is more of a plea to my pal, who needs some direct advice. Either way, let me know what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsJohdee's Questdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dude, stop and think about what you're about to do,
    I don't want you to get hurt or sick, please, think this through.
    I know you think it isn't my place, because I haven't known you long.
    But inside, I realise, that emotionally...you're not that strong.

    This is a plea I am sending you, I hope you understand,
    I am here for you, when you're upset, just grab my hand.
    I know what it is like, I claw at my skin and beg to let my body shrink.
    It isn't the most important thing, to be skinny, although that's what you think.

    I try so fucking hard to infiltrate the protective layer you are surrounded with,
    I try gently teasing your feelings, but you're feisty, and the layer just wont give.
    I think you're gorgeous, in every way a person could possibly be.
    I say 'Open your eyes' but you simply refuse to see.

    He is just one guy, dude, one in a hundred million or more,
    A walking hard on, don't act like you haven't seen a man before.
    If you want to change - go ahead - it is fine,
    Just do it for you, and keep YOU in mind.

    At the end, when all is said and undone.
    If he notices the 'New You' and thinks you're his Number One.
    Don't be fooled, It means he is shallow and empty inside.
    If you get upset, I'll be here, standing right by your side.

    I apologise if this offends, or if you think I'm queer.
    But I am worried about you, for your health and sanity I fear.
    I'll support you, no matter what you decide,
    If he doesn't succumb to your charms, you can always say that you tried




    Submitted on 2007-03-14 20:30:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow...as a guy...this poem is almost like a slap in the face. Eh, well, I guess us guys have a bad reputation - "a walking hard on" - as you so blatantly put it. I'm not denying it, but I feel almost offended, because I'm not completely about looks. Sure its a factor, but I don't make that the basis for everything. If I see a beautiful girl but shes snobby or obnoxious or even worse...I avoid her.

    This is a good poem. I like the way you managed to rhyme while also making this poem seems like a letter, like prose. A poem of prose, a prose of poetry. Very effective, I must say. Keep up the good work!
    | Posted on 2007-04-23 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds like good advice, i have to agree with the fact that if a guy only notices you for your looks and doesnt try to connect with you on a personal level he is being shallow (and this is coming from a guy). I'll admit that I have done something like that, a date here or there, but nothing more... and i usually became disinterested after a few minutes. But i hope your friend listened, for her own good.

    Guermo
    | Posted on 2007-03-18 00:00:00 | by Guermo | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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