Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Perfectdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bleeding_sin
    ASL Info:    16/F/OR
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 54/68/57
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 521
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 960



    Description:
       My boyfriend does not know how I feel about myself and this is why I don't liike it when he tells me or wants to touch my body. I am not perfect enough. Not yet.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsPerfectdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Breath heavy
    Feeling so vulnerable
    Every touch by you makes my body shake
    Craving you
    Can't help but make a sound
    Silence isn't an option
    Every touch of your lips upon mine
    Makes me want you more
    Temptaion buliding
    Anticipation buliding
    Until i can't take it no more
    And we kiss more passionately
    Then a voice pops into my head
    The same one every time
    The one that stops us
    And I lie saying I am "not ready"
    It is the voice that say's
    "NOT PERFCET"
    I am not perfect enough for you
    My body is not right
    "please don't?"
    I ask in a voice that breaks are rhythm
    I have scares and fat
    Touch them
    They are gross
    And yet you say "I love every part of you"
    I don't understand?
    Why?
    I am not perfect




    Submitted on 2007-03-15 13:54:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Yes, self-hatred is the worst kind of hate. And I too well know the feeling of being faced with this situation. In all honesty though, even in perfection there is flaw, nothing is perfect, no one is perfect. From what I have read, you are definately worth more than that, and I am sure that that is what your boy friend sees. As hard as it might be for you, you should try to see it aswell.
    There are some spelling and grammatical errors that should be fixed, it just helps with the flow and rythm, other than that it is well done, great job.

    ~hannah~
    | Posted on 2007-04-21 00:00:00 | by seriouscutter19 | [ Reply to This ]
      Self-hatred is the worse kind of hate. But I'm sure that you do love some things about yourself. Your boyfriend loves you for the inside not the out. He sees the real you. Perfection isn't all it's cracked up to be. Again there are some grammar mistakes but nothing a quick proof read couldn't fix :)

    Take care:)

    ciao,

    }i{Renae}i{
    | Posted on 2007-04-20 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]
      im right there with you. i love my boyfriend but hate myself. and he doesnt understand that. poeple never understand why other people hate themselves. i'll let you in on a secret. you may not be perfect, no one is. but you are worth it. you are worth everything and dont let anyone, not even that mean little voice in your head tell you different.

    i tip my hat and bid thee farewell.
    | Posted on 2007-03-16 00:00:00 | by PoeticNonsense | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    137876

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Carry written by saartha
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Records I written by Raphael
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Cover written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Love written by saartha
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry