Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: he always enters stage leftdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Yariel Alvarado
    ASL Info:    18/M/OK
    Elite Ratio:    1.34 - 10/2/16
    Words: 434
    Class/Type: Prose/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 599
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2343



    Description:
       [IdontlikeIT]


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshe always enters stage leftdots
    -------------------------------------------



    'I cant tell if you laughing, between each smile there's a tear in your eye'

    This is the moment when the lights go out. You see that nothing you coulda ever thought of coulda worked for, coulda wanted, coulda needed will help you now. The darkness that comes so perfectly clear, to each sense like a wave bearing down on a child, unlearned in the arts of the seas. You can only be helpless so long. You can only be scared for this instance. He can see in this darkness, you know hes been in the whole longer than you've been breathing, but hes charming. He smiles and he holds her tighter than steal embraces the mold. And he is sweeter, sweeter than death . AND it f e e l s right.

    The sky aint that big and the earth doesnt stand still long enough for the celestial snipers to not hit one with their endless beams from rifles long silenced. In them i saw you in each silenced battle, in some remote corner of the heaven I saw you. The light that hits only millions of lightyears after the fact. the pain that only strike when the deed is done.

    And he knows your heart beats beyond your control. Oh hes a lover Oh hes a fighter Oh hes a cold calculator waiting to take your heart beyond the moon, into orbit in oxygen dead space. To still the beating, to calm the hoping and wish you silence... Oh love wont you take this step, the one you know is just that bit too far... Oh love wont you fight for me... oh dear, that bullet was mine.

    She knew she knows.

    It matters not wheather conquest arises from compact or conquest the great Orator once declared. In this field of battle the same holds true. And he enters from behind from the blind spot out of the sun and upon your shoulders his knees caress with gravities wieghty blow. Floor you with a kiss, my shame on him. But that blade aint false, and she wields it well. He falls short of his prey, this time. She was the better off. he knicked her. she tore through his throat, took the jugulare clean out.

    'You cant always win. In the dark, in that uncertain realm, its all or nothing. That winged boy mighta blindsided me with a well placed bolt or three, but I aint out -this duel is to the death.'


    Love is just the begining.




    Submitted on 2007-03-16 15:22:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      There are some wonderful images and, beautiful lines scattered through-out this, however, I found it a little incoherent in places... Like you are skipping around in your thoughts a little to much... The He to me is also a little unclear sometimes it sounds like a person and sometimes He sounds like a little more than fleash. All-in-all, it is long but a pretty deceint write.
    | Posted on 2007-03-16 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    137976

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The World written by jjd
    Live In Between written by teika5
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry