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    dots Submission Name: Athensdots

    Author: AutumnLeaves
    ASL Info:    26/f/ Cyprus
    Elite Ratio:    4.62 - 95/103/44
    Words: 222
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 904
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1548

       Athens..... the love of my life.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    In time,
    The chaos becomes green.
    In time,
    The pavements, the balconies
    The falling shoes, the flying sheets,
    The feral streets
    Transgress obscene.
    The butterflies are now the crazy people
    Once feared
    Once pushed away,
    Because they talk to benches or touch your sleeve.
    But now they are the butterflies
    A passenger said,
    And taxi drivers found another thing
    To attend their humorous lies.
    Through the windows,
    The visual is interesting at parts,
    As the disconnected pictures form a story
    With gardens, bus stops, or four-star hotels
    And hazy faces, shaken by the hurried atmosphere.
    In the pavements you see the truth of grey,
    That which beggars beg for,
    The last shade of sympathy
    Highlighted by tricky suns,
    Just before the afternoon.
    Just before the soldier rearranges his lips in Syntagma.
    Just before the only remaining tourists
    Say goodbye to grandeur in Parthenon.
    Once again, the streets claim significance at night
    Because the altered ugliness is now interesting,
    Dogs waiting to cross the streets with humans,
    Little beggars refusing to go home,
    Selling tired roses
    In crowded cafes that used to be old houses
    To couples like you and me.
    In time, we have learned
    To see in their eyes
    that which makes us smile
    Despite their cunning cries.

    Submitted on 2007-03-16 17:59:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      for what it contains, this is excellent.
    | Posted on 2011-10-01 00:00:00 | by lameboyofhameln | [ Reply to This ]
      The only real problem I see with this piece is the actual layout... stanzas may serve you well, and other punctuation than commas after all the lines could make it more visually appealing and add special pauses where you want them. I noticed you have a rhyme scheme and it is well integrated; I like that. "Tired roses" was something I liked; there is a lot of good imagery and word choice and I do think this is quite the good piece. Nice work.
    | Posted on 2007-03-17 00:00:00 | by awastedsky | [ Reply to This ]

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