Description: An old, outdated favorite. Needs work.
Girl ex Machina -------------------------------------------
Becoming your sentiment is my delusion
but I fear I'd never let your touch go
I look for that switch to pull you from me
like the mechanical lifeline between mother and child
please let go faster but don't forget sooner
you fed me affection just to get a taste of my perception
you hate what you don't understand
and I love what I hold too tightly.
Though you are blind to my fragile tendencies
and my necessity to evade from all things
you see me as only a broken promise away
from a world of united perfection
will you not vanish within our faulty network
because I was never programmed to decipher you.
I don't mind coexisting with melancholy
while watching the rain fall from the inside
because nothing's better than a blurry view
to make the electricity slow its pace
escaping our reality is only a disconnect away
and so I wait for you to sever the wires
of my heart you knew so well
no longer can I feel the static fading from me
in a case unworthy of repair
with my file reading 'self destruction'
please delete me from your system.
(And all the viruses that I transferred to you
remain a tragedy inside your memory cells.)
WHY, exactly, hasn't anybody responded to this yet?? Because the world is full of crashing bores.
I like it a lot... I'd only say to add some punctuation or break up the lines more in order to group thoughts so that it isn't so confusing--there are some ambiguous lines in there that I wasn't sure when with the line above it or the line below it (perhaps the point, but I'm challenged).
You really made a statement with all the tech terminology. Perhaps the goal was to point out that we are just mechanisms waiting to be broken, just like a computer screen. Or maybe that was just a peripheral theme. Either way, the imagery is strong and interesting. Completely packed with great ideas and phrases.
And what an excellent place to leave off. It reminds me of something that The Blow/Khaela Maricich might sing. Pretty. Clever.
Submission Name: Girl ex Machina
